Divorce. How will Christmas be split? His family live abroad.

[furrybean]

After a couple of years of unhappiness and for various other reasons I’ve decided to leave DH (just getting ducks in a row). We have DD age 2 and I’ve only stayed because of her which I realise isn’t healthy, but the thought of loosing time with her breaks my heart. His family live in Europe and we usually travel to them early December for Christmas then back home for Christmas with my family. When we divorce he will likely want to go home for Christmas as he has no family here so how will this work with sharing our DD over Christmas? I’m happy to split Christmas / Christmas Day with him as long as I’m still seeing my daughter but can he demand that one year he takes her for the whole Christmas period to be with his family?

I think this would be fair- it's not all about your H but rather your DC having a relationship with their paternal family.

It's not about you being happy to let him have DC on your terms. Divorce, unfortunately, does mean you will BOTH see your DC less.

Yes as long as he's a good Dad and there are no safeguarding or abuse concerns then I can't see why he wouldn't want or be able to take her to see his family for Christmas. He has just as much of a right to see her at special occasions or any other time.

Have you prepared yourself for what he might ask for in terms of general custody arrangements OP?

We split the Christmas holiday as first week with one family, second week with the other, alternating who got the week with Christmas every year.

It saved us from a lot of misery, trying to split the “important days” was madness and wouldn’t have been nice for anyone, so DS had Christmas with one family and we would re do all the fuss again in non Christmas week.

Yes a court would grant him that very likely, it’s usually alternative years for Christmas. Your DD has two equal parents and needs a relationship with both and their respective families.

Same as karma, one week me, one week him. The first year was strange, but you get used to it. I don't split her birthday though, she is always at home for that.