Never been friends with SIL but always pleasant when we meet up socially. She was always the favourite of the family, but DH is by far the better person imo.
So, she works as a nurse in the NHS. DH also NHS worker and I am an ICU nurse. I also have a severely disabled DD who is 13. I have worked part time and cared for DD and 6 yo DS up until the pandemic started and schools closed. DH and I juggle school with family help plus 101 appointments/operations/treatments for DD.
I am an anxious person and had PTSD since DDs traumatic birth and subsequent diagnosis of cerebral palsy. Lots of fighting for schooling, equipment, transport and on and on. Anyone who knows disability parenting will get this.
At the start of the pandemic I went off sick (first time) with stress. Both kids at home all day. Home schooling. DD became acutely unwell and was in hospital 5 weeks, 2 on ICU. Multiple hospital stays, investigations, a major operation (again) and still not fully recovered. At this time DH also went off sick as DD had to be shielded. I've been off nearly a full year and will start back to work in Feb. DH is now back working. Both kids now home because of covid.
My SIL has made several sarky remarks about how she has carried on working and 'some people' have opted out, and asking when I am going back because I've had enough holiday time, and similar nasty comments. To me and on SM. I feel guilty because my colleagues have been through the mill, but I know I couldn't have coped mentally or physically with DD so unwell and needing so much care. She is totally dependent on us 24/7 and can do nothing for herself.
How do I deal with this and not cause a family rift.