Why am I feeling like this

[conflictednow]

I've just heard that someone I used to be very close to (5 year relationship), is in hospital after a stroke. I finished the relationship as we weren't really compatible and it was a bit of a nasty finish too. It was the right thing to do, but I'm feeling worried and upset now. I will hear how things progress as I'm in touch with a relative. I don't think a card or message would be well received, last time I got in touch it was taken as a sign i wanted to restart, and I don't. But I am thinking about them in hospital just now, wondering how they are. Irrational. Please help me process it....

Cos you're a nice person, and the fact the relationship wasn't good or right for you, doesn't mean every compassionate feeling you have drains out of you?

Even if they were a horrible abuser, people are nuanced and have (or pretend) good qualities that make you get involved with them in the first place, even if all that gets thrown in the trash over the course of a relationship.

Wouldn't it be stranger to feel nothing?

I wouldn't act on it, but what you're feeling seems human and rational to me.

That's not in the least irrational! It's caring about another human being and one you were close to and presumably have a lot of shared memories and good times, along with with the bad.
If you are sure communication won't be well received all you can do is wish him well in your mind but please don't think there's something wrong about that.

Thank you, I just wish we had been able to get past things. Maybe I'll consider a card (no idea what I would say tho).

I wouldn't, if their go-to is likely to be to think you still have romantic interest in them. Being sick doesn't change who they are.