Broken heart - when it will get better?! I want kids

[Odiona]

I’m 33. Two years ago I had an “amazing husband” and we were planning kids. Something I always really wanted... unfortunately 2,5 years ago I found out he cheated (a lot) and we divorced. I’ve been working on myself for about two years. Picked new hobbies, made new friends and decided to get back into dating. It’s not working well. I am still thinking about my ex husband and I can’t seem to connect with anyone. My biological clock is ticking and I’m still broken hearted. If I give myself more time to heal I’m worried I will run out of time to have kids... any advice appreciated ...

While your still thinking of your ex husband,also still hurting it isn't time to start dating,give urself more time to get over the pain(it can take years)Don't be too hard on urself your doing great x

Maybe some counselling to deal with your emotional blocks?

You still have years in your fertility window, perhaps take another 6 months to address the grief and damage caused by the betrayals and smashing of the relationship?

I think dating is a numbers game, so it's a matter of sifting through a lot of rubbish, unfortunately. Could friends or family set you up?

Thank you for answers. I’ve been to therapy. Definitely helped ... I don’t think about my ex all the time, but when I go on a date I keep comparing the chemistry to the spark I had with my ex when we first met... most of my dates were rubbish

You do still have time for kids. I met my DH at 33 after many disastrous relationships in my 20s/early 30s, engaged at 36, married at 37, baby by 38. He's amazing and so is my DD.

One thing I will add is that you'll need to be more ruthless and ditch any that you suspect might not be compatible quite swiftly because you won't want to waste time.

I agree that the pressure of the ticking clock you mention is agonising. If I could turn that clock back I would have frozen some eggs under the age of 35. It's good insurance should you want to conceive later. We are trying for a sibling now aged 40 and it has not been as easy second time round.

I had my children very young and originally I had planned to have my first by the age of 30. My mother had my sister and I at ages 33 and 35.

Have you considered a sperm donor if kids are what you solely want? Or do you want to be a family unit. Please forget about your scumbag ex!

You still have time. I split from a 14 year relationship at the age of 33 (we were engaged, home owners, had a dog but no children) and I remember feeling absolutely lost. I had a few months on my own, then a short term relationship that fizzled out and another man I dated for 4 months before I realised he had a girlfriend!! He lived and worked a 3 hour drive away so we only saw each other every other weekend.

Then on a random evening out I met my current partner. I was 35. We spent the next 5 years enjoying life before having our first baby when I was 42 (we lost one prior to this) second at 43 and third at 45 😊

You have time OP, life can change and you can meet someone when you don’t expect it 😊