Getting your own back

[Heartofgoldmumof2]

Hey bit of a silly one-but I thought I would ask what you may do to get your own back when your DPs really piss you off?

[quote Heartofgoldmumof2]@kitdeluca1

That’s what I’m talking about! Mine leaves literal rubbish all over the house and kitchen work tops. I too get wee sprayed all over the toilet seat![/quote]
Then ditch him and next time find one who’s a fully formed, pleasant adult, not a disgusting inconsiderate arsehole.

Do you think most couples operate like this? Do you think he’d clear up your urine if you pissed on the seat? He literally thinks he’s too good to clean the toilet he’s made a mess of and thinks you should do it because you’re less important than he is.

Would you have put up with this on your first date? Would you tell a friend to put up with it and hope a rant helps her feel better coz most men are lazy useless bastards? You must know they’re not?

@Regularzizedrudy
Yes
It’s mind boggling.

[quote Kitdeluca1]@Heartofgoldmumof2 it’s disgusting isn’t it, just tramp behaviour but unfortunately mummy didn’t mind cleaning up after him and I’m having trouble training it out of him![/quote]
No. You don’t get to blame his mother. You’re the one choosing to live with a man who won’t clear up his own piss. You can’t train that sort of disdain and disrespect out of an adult and neither should you try. Please want better for yourself.

I’m having trouble training it out of him!
Are your expectations that low ??
Can you visualise a life with an adult rather than a toddler?

[quote Kitdeluca1]@Heartofgoldmumof2 it’s disgusting isn’t it, just tramp behaviour but unfortunately mummy didn’t mind cleaning up after him and I’m having trouble training it out of him![/quote]
You can’t blame his mother when you do it. At least she did it because he was a child. He’s a grown ass man and you do it.

+nimbuscloud

It’s drawer. Not draw.*

🤣🤣

[quote Heartofgoldmumof2]@kitdeluca1

That’s what I’m talking about! Mine leaves literal rubbish all over the house and kitchen work tops. I too get wee sprayed all over the toilet seat![/quote]
Good god

Where do you find these pigs. And why do you choose to live with them? My husband doesn’t do this, and neither do any of my male friends, if they even tried it, their wives would rip them a new one.

Petty revenge is just a cowardly way of dealing with someone treating you like shit. Step up ans address it.

@AmywithanL

+nimbuscloud

It’s drawer. Not draw.*

🤣🤣

Why’s that funny?

It’s surprising and rather sad when people think it’s a draw when it’s a drawer.

OP - just no. I would have a grown up conversation with him about what he did. I know in my relationship we would talk openly, accept culpability, apologise, try to not repeat! And move on.

Sometimes actions speak louder than words.

I de-prioritize the things which are important to my DH. So I don't leave food in the fridge for him for when he gets home but batch-freeze it all instead so he has to eat DS's fish fingers or beans on toast. His clothes and gym kit find their way to the bottom of the washing pile so they're not there when he wants them. His shoes (when left in the middle of the hall for DS and I to trip over) are put away and I don't point out where I've put them so he has to spend ages hunting for them in the morning and then eventually come and find me and ask.

To be fair to DH, he doesn't expect me to cook or do his laundry, but generally I'm happy to keep things ticking over since he works such long hours. But occasionally he takes the piss by not helping at weekends or refusing to get out of bed until midday since "he's so tired from the week". Then his life becomes a lot less pleasant as I prioritize myself and DS (for instance, taking DS out for a nice trip and not waiting for him) and, when he notices (which sometimes takes a while), we have a conversation about it and agree a compromise.

Adult conversation and using my words does not work with my DP.

Well it would depend on what he’s done. There’s no point in being childish if it’s for a silly habit or something. Let’s say he cheats or something actually serious then I might feel like revenge but that’s about it.

Buy a big plastic box, label it "TwatHusband's mess". Put all his wrappers/dirty plates/junk in that box. Put it on his chair/place on the sofa. If he moves it off, put it back on every time he goes to the loo or to get a drink.

@Heartofgoldmumof2

Adult conversation and using my words does not work with my DP.

What happens?

My own dh used to moan if I put his socks or undies in the wrong drawer. So I just stopped doing it. Simples.

@Heartofgoldmumof2

Adult conversation and using my words does not work with my DP.

Then why are you with him?

This is actually really sad.

It reads like you and kit are in abusive relationships. Your partners treat you like slaves, they leave rubbish all over the place, even piss, and you run around cleaning it up. And you’re unable to address it so have taken to doing petty revenge things so you secretly feel like you’re getting them back for how they treat you,

It’s not normal behaviour and is a really unhealthy dynamic.

Op, are you also a house wife/reliant on him financially?

You get your own back by moving out and not telling him. He will soon notice when he has run out of clean underpants.