I've seperated from my children's dad. We spent many years together. We were set up through friends. He was easy to get along with. He was calm. Placid. No games. No other women. No lies. We clicked for a few years. But then things changed. We had no passion. No similar interests. Conversations were just dull and only about his stress at work. We didn't have the same dreams anymore. He was happy to sit about watching EastEnders all weekend and I wanted us to do projects sometimes in the garden together or try something together. Eventually sex was gone too. I realised one day that the thought of kissing him on the lips even for a peck was just a no. I didn't feel attracted to him anymore. We had become grumpy housemates. So we talked and we agreed to be mates. One of things I struggled with was I felt like the constant leader. It was me who said let's go out today. Let's paint this room. We need to replace this. We need to send something for your mum's birthday. The grass needs cutting. I always arranged and tried to keep up with the garden, house, shopping, birthdays everything.
Fast forward and I've met my match in many ways. A man that likes to be busier. Who likes to keep his garden looking good. Who's spontaneous. Who makes me laugh and interests me with conversation. We bounce of eachother. He enjoys decorating. Wants to sit in the garden and enjoy the weather. We've planned some places to go after Corona. It was so nice because he was getting involved. Sending links. Telling me where he's been and what he's done.
But I know he isn't going be as chilled or go with the flow as my ex. Which is good. I want someone to lead me sometimes. But I'm nervous. Because I know he's more passionate and strong minded. I know he is a great bloke. I'm not expecting a bad relationship, but I know this relationship will be different and I need to get used to someone who is likely to be more incharge.
I never had a single row with my ex. Not one. Maybe a couple of sulky things. But literally never had a row and ended up sad for a night or anything. Which looking back is abit odd. I know that there will be ups and downs in this relationship. Not big rows. But normal disagreements. And I feel abit inexperienced and worried. I don't want to take things to heart. I don't want to overthink. But realising how my ex didn't ever put any passion into things I realise I've gotten used to a peaceful boring life and I'm now worried about going into something with more heart to it.
Not sure what advice I want. But just want to talk to someone.