Need a bit of a hand hold over court case and domestic abuse.

[Fightingback16]

Need a bit of a hand hold really over this.

So I’m at court for child contact, taken to by Ex. We had the first hearing and they ordered something called a Scott schedule. Which was basically a list of allegations of abuse to determine if I need a fact finding hearing. If he admits enough then a fact finding won’t be needed.

Today I got my ex’s response to my allegations and although I didn’t expect him to admit to them his replies have just really upset me. He blames me, says I provoke and goad him and the arguments were from me also, I was hard to live with, they were normal marital arguments (they were not). He admits to some incidents giving excuses. He has lied and twisted it and brought up some really personal and frankly disgusting things. I guess that’s all pretty normal.

It’s horrible and just reminds me of what I went through and how I convinced myself it was all normal when it really wasn’t. He still believes it was all perfectly normal.

Anyway I just re-read the document and I feel rubbish.

They'll see straight through his accusations. Remember these people are experts and see this multiple times per day. A non-abusive ex would not talk about you like that

Op it's horrible to read but he's just done you a favour. Writing out a list of reasons why you're responsible for his bad reactions is him evidencing that he's an abuser. The judge will see through that in a second.

Try and think of it as more evidence of his idiocy and leave it at that. You'll be fine. You've got this far!

My solicitor did say that whether or not you have an excuse it’s not acceptable to go around shouting and hurting people. I just I hope the Judge doesn’t believe him when he says I gave as good as he did when that simply isn’t true.

One of the worst bit was him saying how he supported me through my dads cancer and passing and this is an outright lie as he did nothing. It contributed to my breakdown just after, going home having 0 support and dealing with his moods and the silent treatment and temper.