Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating spouse

5 replies

dottydoo222 · 13/01/2021 19:09

Feel so stupid writing this but need to get it off my chest as have no one to confide in in rl.
So I've been married twice, first time I was very young had 2 children with him then found out he'd been cheating (numerous times) eventually I left him as I couldn't get past it.
Second marriage (still married) I was slightly older , early 30's, he knew what had happened in my previous marriage and how much it had hurt me, after a few years of being together we married and have since had 2 more children. 3 years ago I lost my brother it was very unexpected and really hit me hard. I discovered about 9 months ago that my husband has been on dating sites, hook up sites etc after he had left his phone unlocked charging. After a bit of digging I discovered that this had been going on for over a few years. I was/am devastated I confronted him he made all the promises he wont do it again and felt lonely after I had lost my brother. I just cant get over it, the fact that I was going through the hardest thing I ever had to deal with while he was sending dirty messages and pictures to other women adding to the fact he knew how much my ex had broke me I am beyond gutten, self esteem at rock bottom . sorry ranting just needed to get it off my chest

OP posts:
Fran856 · 13/01/2021 19:12

I’m so sorry your going through this , I don’t have any advice just to let you know you aren’t alone , I caught my partner of 11 years out doing the same thing last summer plus messages to
Sex workers it was devastating so I completely understand your pain , it does get easier over time and it’s not your fault it’s them , there personally not yours x

dottydoo222 · 13/01/2021 19:19

Sorry to hear you are also going through this, I feel such an idiot that I didn't spot it especially after my first husband doing the same. I feel like there is something wrong with me and such a terrible wife.

OP posts:
category12 · 13/01/2021 19:27

You don't have to stay. You can leave the relationship.

You're not a terrible wife, he's a terrible shit husband.

Fran856 · 13/01/2021 19:29

@dottydoo222 initially I felt the same but honestly it’s not you at all , you can’t change men like this and unfortunately there is a lot of them! My partner said the same about looking for excitement and an ego boost etc , we seperated for 6 months but as we have 3 small children one only 7 months old I agreed to let him come back , some days are really hard for me , I think about his betrayals every day , I don’t know if I’ll end up leaving after COVID etc

samyeagar · 13/01/2021 19:35

I guess I am lucky in that my ex wife didn't even have the chance to make excuses for banging our youngest childs teacher. I started the divorce process the same day I found out and never looked back.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page