I have had a niggling thought recently that I can’t seem to get out of my head.
It started with wondering if I was happy in my marriage, I realised I was not.
DH has said I seem unhappy, and I have begun to notice even small things - like avoiding brushing past him if we are in our small kitchen...
I realised that I love his company (when he’s not being a miserable arse) and think he’s a great dad.....
But I’m not sure I’m ‘in love’ anymore.
At the same time, the idea of not having him in my life as close as we are terrifies me. I value him as a person and as a friend. So as not to drip feed - we were best friends for many years before we began a relationship, and had a child quite early on.
I had cold feet before the wedding but craved stability and security after several losses in my close family, and now realise I wasn’t in the right frame of mind when we did tie the knot.
There’s no passion, and to be honest I’m not sure there ever was. I never felt swept off my feet, or particularly affectionate other than pecking kisses and hugs, and I like to be cuddled up - but I would do this with him as a friend too!
When we are intimate I do struggle to ‘get there’ not that he does anything wrong in that way he is brilliant and I think maybe I can be cold and hard to read ..... but still? Am I missing out on true passionate love, just for safe secure love?
Has anyone ever felt like this and managed to keep a good relationship with their husband after?
Is this something that can be fixed or should I give him the chance to find someone who also wants to sweep him off his feet!
I just feel a bit restless and wonder if this is an actual issue or if it’s just lockdown overthinking 🙈
Thankyou