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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need to vent about SIL

24 replies

Sarapq2 · 12/01/2021 15:31

Just need to vent, yesterday I had to go to my sil home to deliver some food as she is now shielding .
Forgot to text on the way but didn't think anything of it.
Drive thru the village she is in towards the the supermarket and thought I saw her but dismissed it until I got to hers about 30 later after doing her shopping etc.
No sign of life at hers so tapped window , just in time to see her quickly put the wine down .
She stank of booze and I'm in no doubt it was her I saw previously ( lime green top I saw before).
I didn't say anything till later that night she rang to say I'd forgotten milk and gave a big speech about shielding and I don't understand the pressures of being a mommy.
I lost the plot with her saying I won't be running around after her any More and I bet she doesn't have a shielding letter and she's ok enough to go shops to get booze and mess about with another man .
We have a fraught relationship as it is but she causes friction between me and my oh.
I'm angry why should I run around after her when all she is doing is staying at home.
I've unfollowed her on fb as I'm sick of the poor me things.

OP posts:
giantangryrooster · 12/01/2021 15:37

I won't be running around after her any

Yes why should you/do you? Just stop, if she needs anything it's on your oh to do something, if he wants. Stop discussing it with him, tell him 'your family your job' and don't discuss it with him again (I bet he doesn't cater to your extended family).

TroosAndShoes · 12/01/2021 15:42

If it's your OH's sister then surely he should be the one doing the running around.

I would take a giant step back and let the pair of them get on with it.

MaraThorn · 12/01/2021 15:45

Are you 100% sure it was her you saw out buying wine?

Aquamarine1029 · 12/01/2021 15:49

Let your husband deal with her and cut her out of your life. I have a SIL who's a total cow, so I understand. I don't have a thing to do with her, and my husband doesn't really either. She's nothing but drama and a horribly selfish person.

Sarapq2 · 12/01/2021 16:09

@MaraThorn

Are you 100% sure it was her you saw out buying wine?
The line green stripy top was very distinctive
OP posts:
Sarapq2 · 12/01/2021 16:11

@TroosAndShoes

If it's your OH's sister then surely he should be the one doing the running around.

I would take a giant step back and let the pair of them get on with it.

He can't drive right now .
OP posts:
BornIn78 · 12/01/2021 16:12

Clearly she’s not shielding, so simply stop running around after her.

If she contacts you asking you to go to the shops tell her “you’ll have to call your brother and ask him”.

giantangryrooster · 12/01/2021 16:27

Well if oh cannot drive he has to think of something, if he wants to cater to his sister. He can always beg you to drive him out shopping for her. Just let him find out what to do instead of involving you.

Perhaps having to deal with her and her alcohol problem himself, he will be less inclined to blame you.

AngusThermopyle · 12/01/2021 16:36

I need to know more about the "messing about with another man" bit 😬

Cam2020 · 12/01/2021 16:39

Tell her to get her shopping online in future!

pooopypants · 12/01/2021 16:41

'Messing about with another man' - as in cheating on her DH?

Stop running around after her - just stop. If she's capable of going shopping for wine, she can grab milk while she's there.

Does she have an alcohol problem and she's buying it on the sly? Just a thought.

She's taking you for a ride, so stop being a doormat.

HopeClearwater · 12/01/2021 16:43

Why can’t your partner drive right now?

Gazelda · 12/01/2021 16:46

You don't like her, do you?!
She's cheating g on her partner, boozes and you're not convinced she's genuinely shielding.
Get your DP to do the running around for her.

MaggieFS · 12/01/2021 16:46

Well just don't do it anymore if she's out and about.

Not sure how any of that indicates she's messing around with another man though?

MilkMoon · 12/01/2021 16:47

Where has the 'other man' stuff come from? When you say you saw her while driving, are you saying you saw her out buying wine while drunkenly draped over someone other than her husband?

CharlieSocial · 12/01/2021 16:56

Cut her some slack

Fluffycloudland77 · 12/01/2021 16:57

I can’t see why you did it in the first place with no shielding letter.

Sarapq2 · 12/01/2021 17:40

@pooopypants

'Messing about with another man' - as in cheating on her DH?

Stop running around after her - just stop. If she's capable of going shopping for wine, she can grab milk while she's there.

Does she have an alcohol problem and she's buying it on the sly? Just a thought.

She's taking you for a ride, so stop being a doormat.

Lol Yes she has been , trouble he isn't discreet and I'm his mate on fb !

My oh knows what she is like and refuses to help her now

OP posts:
Sarapq2 · 12/01/2021 17:43

Hi
I believed her initially until I looked into it a bit more detail .
To be honest I know what she is like and I have been trying to build bridges with her for sake of my oh .
To be honest I'm actually more at risk than she is and I work with potential covid patients

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 12/01/2021 17:47

If your oh doesn’t get involved I wouldn’t bother either.

Brown76 · 12/01/2021 17:57

Why do you need to help her if she has a Husband (and a boyfriend)?

Sarapq2 · 12/01/2021 17:59

To be honest I did it mainly for the kids but I've seen all the woe is me posts today and unless I have to that's us done .
Yes I'm going to be seen as the bad guy but after way she treated me before I don't care .

OP posts:
AngusThermopyle · 12/01/2021 18:00

@Brown76

Why do you need to help her if she has a Husband (and a boyfriend)?
Good question 🤔
Sarapq2 · 12/01/2021 18:07

He works away a fair bit .

OP posts:
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