Husband with ADD

[MarylinMonrue]

Looking for some advice I guess.

I've had a really horrible time with PND recently, and I admit it may have totally coloured my feelings, but I'm finding my DHs ADD so hard to cope with on top of trying to bond with the baby and I feel so rejected and insignificant.

He:

• rarely talks to me first if we're apart (travelled for work a lot pre covid), I have to initiate all the time

• is always talking along one of his trains of thought and really not caring that he's getting no response or the other person has also had a day

• so easily distracted and then grumpy and resentful when he's taken out of his 'zone'

• Prone to hyperfixating on people and then being defensive when I say it's not appropriate - it's like his brain is always looking for 'more fun' 'more interesting' even if its a total fantasy land

I do get that its a genuine brain wiring thing and he doesn't mean to but I feel so unloved right when i need to feel loved :(

Does anyone else have a partner with ADD with these behaviours? How do you deal with it? I feel like leaving.

I think you should leave really
It doesn’t matter why he treats you badly, it just matters that you don’t feel supported or listened to

Giving this a bump as I'm at the end of my tether.

Is he medicated & if he isn’t would be be willing to take ADD medication? It can make an enormous amount of difference & if it is ADD in isolation without any co-morbid conditions then he should be well aware of the frustration and issues he is causing. So the question is whether he cares enough about the distress it causes you to do something to remedy that?

It depends if you can live like this as it's doubtful that he'll change.

He isn't medicated - he says he might try if it if he can get an assessment.

I think CbT formulated specifically for ADD can work well if you can find a therapist.