Ending a Zoom date if there's no spark

[TheresGotToBeMoreToLife]

How do you do this politely?

I'm having a zoom first date on sat night and want to have a bit of a plan for if it's just not working out.

On a normal date I might sort of make moves to leave, gather my coat etc and say I've really got to get back. It all seems a bit more difficult when you're sat in your lounge.

Any tips? I've never done his before. I once stayed on a first date phone call with a guy for over a hour when I knew there was no connection there. He spoke AT me, barely pausing, but I couldn't find a way to politely end it. Help!

Can't you just do a phone call? I would hate a zoom 1st date!

Maybe keep it to half an hour for the first call, say beforehand that you have a family quiz arranged?

Whoops! Lose broadband connection and then ghost them apologise profusely.

Can’t you just say the doors knocking or something

Just say you have some work/training/online course to do from home?
If they are rude or make you feel uncomfortable in any way then just cut it dead.
This is a horror story from when I was dating, a guy I speaking to over video was in a dark bedroom, I couldn't even make out if it was really him from the pictures, there was some shuffling going on under his bedding and starting demanding I got my toys out, I never so fast hung up, hopefully won't happen to you but there is some real weirdos out there that think a video/zoom is an invitation for inappropriate stuff.
Another time some guy had all his mates with him!
Anyway at least you'll find out if he's normal or not.

I hate myself for this .. but in the middle of talking you just cut your Internet....

Zoom 1st date? How odd....
Why not just a quick video call to say hi ???

Just be honest, i presume you wouldn't like to be ghosted or if someone pretended the internet went down (forever). Just say 'well i've had a nice time but unfortunately don't feel there's a connection between us so i'm going to go, thanks for the date' and then just switch the call off. Not difficult to be polite and truthful is it?! and your on video you never have to meet/talk to this person ever again!

Just close the call mid sentence?

Tell a friend to be on standby to call you when you start getting bored.

Download an app that plays a doorbell noise or make your phone ring and say you have to go.

@JengaJanga

Zoom 1st date? How odd.... Why not just a quick video call to say hi ???

What's odd about it? Blimey people would be calling OP blind if she was meeting this guy in-person (DON'T YOU KNOW THERE'S A PANDEMIC??)

Anyway, I think say beforehand you only have 30 minutes as you have a family zoom catch up then......

Surely no one is going to believe one of the above excuses offered? Could you not just be honest?

Oh gosh don't do it, sounds horrendous.

Pretend your screen frozen, internet gone down

Not the point, but any kind of video call adds about ten years to me. I look better in person. I'd never do a video call because it would ruin my chances!

I'd go with a family member turning up at the door unexpectedly if necessary though.

Set a couple of alarms on your phone with a phone call ring tone.

Date going well, you pick up the phone and cancel the “call.” Date going badly”oh I’m so sorry, I really must take this, byeeee!”

It's been lovely speaking with you but I've got to go now

Do you have kids? Say one of them needs you?

Or just agree on a time limit before hand to avoid any awkwardness!

Work on your assertiveness! If you don’t end the call, wasting your time is the penalty you pay.

I also think that a pre arranged time is the best way, if you go down the odgy aifi, oh someones knocking at the door route he isn't going to believe you and as a result he will probably end up feeling pretty shit about it. MN is typical for this, slating men for being dishonest then advising women to do just that. I believe in affording people the same level of respect as I would want. So either set a pre arranged time frame to remove some of the presssure or be honest, explain it's been nice chatting but you either aren't feeling it or are finding the whole zoom thing awkward so will wish him good night, whatever may be the case.

If they were rude or inappropriate you don't need an excuse, just confront them and leave. But if not, it's just really rude to cut it short. Surely you can manage 30 minutes to an hour of being polite.