Does anyone feel like men constantly push boundaries?

[BilboBercow]

40 and trying to OLD. Great year for it I know.
I'm long term single and feel like I probably constantly see things that put me off people, probably as a result of a previous abusive relationship, but the thing that's really pissing me off about men right now is that they seem to just totally disregard what I want.

For example tonight talking to a guy who I've been speaking with for a few days. He sent me a daft photo of himself and basically demanded one of me. I'm just out of the bath with wet hair and I don't want to send him a photo, I joke it off about my photos being carefully curated and he's like "so are you saying you're not going to send me one?".
I know it seems so small but it happens a lot. Guys facetiming you without asking when you've said you don't want to guys trying to obtain nudes or take the conversation to somewhere you're not comfortable with.
I'm sure if I snapped at them about consent ID be the unreasonable one but the constant boundary pushing is really making me angry.
Is it just me?

Yes they do, every one I've ever met. They only realise they have gone too far when I've had enough and the relationship ends.

No. It’s not just you. But there are plenty of men who don’t do that.

Do you stop talking to the people who pressure you for pictures?

Do you stop talking to the people who pressure you for pictures?

Yes it's an instant ghosting offence

I think there are good ones out there. Just seems you need to throw a lot of bad ones back first. Online dating can be tricky I think, it seems to bring certain types out the woodwork. Not against it at all, my friend met her lovely husband online, but I’ve heard lots of stories of men on there badgering for pictures etc.

I used to use it as a barometer of how trustworthy they would be if I ever said ‘no’. I’d tell them very early on in the chat that I’d not want any dick pics and I’d not be sending anything back. If they ignored my wishes, I ghosted them instantly without an explanation. My now DH was the only one who did not push his luck.

Not just you OP. I’ve had this too. I don’t do OLD anymore. It’s all the same shit every single time.

Well that's all you can do really. Unfortunately though, I'm beginning to think from reading so many of these threads that these guys operate a bit like Nigerian internet spammers. They scatterbomb every single female contact they can find anywhere with this kind of pressure, and one in a thousand of them pays off. It's precisely because of that modus operandi that it's not worth their while to stop and think about what you want, adjust their approach sensitively etc. That would take too much time and effort which they need to spend on making another hundred or thousand attempts elsewhere.

yeh, if you get turned off by boundary pushing then you don't have to think about it so much. You just ........ back away. I agree with you though.

"so are you saying you're not going to send me one?"

YES I'M FUCKING SAYING THAT!!! My God

Sorry. Had to get that out. Hehe!!

Or, you could tell them you're going to send them a pic of your lovely, delightful tits.......then send him a pair of a actual tits, like this one, then block -

imgur.com/gallery/kbW7CBq

I don't know if I she be glad it's not just me or fucking depressed . The fact that I'm still sexually attracted to men is proof sexuality isn't a choice.

I got a lot of this guff when I was old. I only went out with my now lovely dp because my colleague made me!! I was so over all the bollocks you have to Wade through to find a functional human.

You're right to bin re the boundary pushing though x

Can't be doing with men like that. Bunch of immature fuckwits really.
Why bother. Life's too short.

Can confirm that even if sexuality were a choice, you'd find that women can be just as bad!

Pricks push boundaries. Nice, decent people don't - regardless of sex / gender.

You're with someone who pushes the boundaries of what they know makes you feel shit versus what makes you feel safe, comfortable and respected.

That's not love. It just isn't.

If they don't respect your boundaries and think they are unfair, they can leave you. They can't keep agreeing to them then pushing them and telling you it's ridiculous of you to be upset when you've made them clear.

Unfortunately arrogance appears to be high on the agenda with these type of men, they think women are 'gagging for it' and treat accordingly. It really is a 'yawn'..next!

I despair of women who indulge them, therefore the arrogance continues.

I am well past OLD, no energy and fuck all patience. If you do have the wherewithal, there are some decent guys out there I'm sure.

As an aside, I've never ever been sent a dick pic (and I've done my fair share of OLD) I would've loved the chance to offer a 'review' of the object

It’s frustrates me that they see a ‘no’ as either a challenge or a starting point for negotiation

Why don’t they understand that no means no?

Experienced exactly the same and I think the pp who mentioned the scattergun approach they take us right. When I was younger and way before the internet I’d allow my boundaries to be pushed all of the time due to low self worth however that changed in my mid 40’s. I met my partner on OLD and knew from his first message he was a decent one. The rest, instant block as you say, no explanation.