Serious relationship,but don't live together

[wouldntmindbeingmrsw]

Hi everyone,
Just interested really. How are people in serious relationships that don't live together managing?

My FIL is in a serious long term relationship ( over 20years), and they don't live together. She lives over 100 miles away. Strange set up, I know, but he's lived on his own for over 30 years and likes it that way. They haven't seen each other since March, as he is 88 and classed as vulnerable.

My Dd is also in a serious relationship. She lives with us and her Bf lives with his family. They are finding it difficult with their relationship and the lockdown restrictions.

It'll be interesting to hear how others were managing. 🙂

Anyone willing to share?

I’ve been with my DP for almost 8 years now and we don’t live together for logistical reasons and he too lives over 100 miles away.

When the pandemic hit we didn’t see each other from March until July. After that he came for a couple of socially distanced visits outside as per the rules, and eventually he came to stay for a week when he was on holiday but we had separate bedrooms. I am vulnerable and can’t take any risks.

He had some holiday before Christmas and isolated for ten days before coming up here over Christmas. I am a single parent so he was acting as my support bubble. Now he’s back home and actually self isolating as one of his housemates has COVID

We don’t anticipate seeing each other now for the foreseeable future as the risks are just too high.

We talk a lot, as much as we can and communication has always been good between us probably because we’ve always been apart during the week anyway.

Only time will tell what the future holds on this one. We miss each other but it is what it is and we’re not the only ones going through it, so we just have to hope that there is an end to all of this somewhere.

I take the view that if a relationship is meant to survive, then it will.

PS: all in all I didn’t see him from March until July, and again from September until December.

I have a friend who lives separately with her DH - same building, different apartments. They spend a lot of time together and spend the night at each other's place often but neither wants to move in together and give up the independence of owning their own place. They both are lovely, and seem very much in love - I'm not surprised tbh, with no arguments who pays the bills or does the dishes)

Gosh @AlternativePerspective that sounds like a very difficult situation, but I understand that you have to be so careful. I'm glad you are able to keep in touch. I hope it's not too long before you can spend some better quality time together. Thank you for sharing.

I'm in a relationship of about 8 months now. We decided to be more socially distanced since Dec because my partners family are elderly and although they live away, he wanted to be able to help them in any eventuality.

We probably won't see each other now till they have the vaccine, which will probably be when this current official lockdown ends. He believes we all need to be socially responsibilty and stick to the rules whereas I'm just feeling like I know loads more people who are ill and I want to be more careful. We talk most days and are trying a zoom meal this week. It's not ideal but he's wonderful and it's worth it.

I’ve been in an 8yr relationship with my DP who lives in France while I’m in UK. (We’re both late 50’s and plan to get married when we retire in a couple of years). Up until Covid he’d come over 3 out of 4 weekends, or I’d go there. It’s obviously been really difficult this past year. Months of not seeing each other on first lockdown - apart from FaceTime. We struck lucky in August and got a 2week holiday away (in France). I got back to the UK just hours before Boris implemented the 2-week quarantine so could go back to work.

He came over for a week around Christmas but stayed isolating indoors the whole time. There’s nowhere open anyway apart from supermarkets.

Anyway, effects for me have been quite bad re MH. It’s just sad that we can’t see a real end to this mayhem at the moment. I miss the physical presence of him and have a little cry sometimes. Having said that, it’s made us appreciate our time together and not take each other for granted.
Plus he’s completely re-decorated his apartment ready to sell it when it’s retirement time