Another porn thread

[lovemesonegerkins]

Hi everyone . I know we have had a lot of these the last few weeks but I need some help . Been with partner nearly ten years . I have issues with porn because my ex had an addiction and it ruined me . He wouldn't have sex with me for 6 months at a time and I found find lorn stashed everywhere . Spunky socks under the bed . I was so pathetic that one day I actually asked him to sleep with me because I needed to feel loved . He walked up to me put his face in mine and said that I turned him sick and he went up stairs and watched porn .
I could go on and on . He would have dirty photos and videos sent to him by friends and even girls who he was cheating on me with . I had a miscarriage and on the way back from the hospital when he was getting petrol I found a spare phone . Full on porn and photos and videos off a few girls where we live . I was devastated. So as you can guess still all these years on I am still not over it .
So I told my partner about this and told him that I can't have porn in the relationship. He agreed . Years go on and I find that he has been looking at it . I felt like i did years ago . I was heart broken . I ended it and then after thinking about it took him back but it was so hard. And still is . I honestly felt like I had been cheated on again . So he swore he would never watch it again . He was stupid . Now it's been a few years on and for some reason I had a feeling he had been watching it one day last week . We hadn't had sex in a good ten days due to working long hours . I just go on his laptop and had a look at his history and in the last 7 days no pornhub like last time but this site I have never heard of. 69sextube. I click on it and it's full of porn . Also love sex cam links . Now I know these live sex cams can pop up depending on what your watching on there. He watched all boxing and football .
I'm just wondering if anyone has heard of this site and has it popped up on their computer without actually going on it ? Sorry for the essay I have no one else in real life that I want to talk to about all this

when someone swears on a child's life, you can be 99.99% sure that they are lying

Always used to happen on Jezza Kyle that way! I assume they are a bit psychopathic because they don’t seem to feel any remorse or guilt for putting their child’s life in the balance.

It winds me up when people on here say it's perfectly natural to watch porn. My ex would choose porn over having sex with me. It drove me crazy. He would stay downstairs after I'd gone bed and then "once done" come to bed and immediately go to sleep. It made me feel beyond shit. My current partner does watch porn, and I don't have an issue with it but if he chose porn over me then it would become one.

He knew that was a deal breaker and he still chose to do it anyway, and then lie about it. If he thought he wasn't going to be able to live without porn he should've told you that.

I hope you're okay, I've been there and it's shite! Also, agree on getting yourself a toy for the meantime 😉.

I think porn causes so much misery to so many. An ex watched it in preference to intimacy with me and its quite soul destroying.

I think he is watching porn and the fact that he hasnt respected your feelings and lied is really bad. He also sounds he could be a bit controlling - not letting you do things. Is that right?

Do think you need a bit of help with anxiety and self esteem generally?

@Lleeaahh1992

Are u on his laptop? Or are you trying to get on it from one of your own devices? Yes i posted last week, mine wont own up either, i have parenteral settings on the wifi to block porn but he was trying to get around it on mobile data in November, i saw an we broke up and he apologized and swore not to again he promised me, then carried on trying all through out December, i found it last week and he is lying saying he was just testing the parental settings. I feel betrayed and it feels like he has been cheating.

This and your other post about google activity. This is how I found out my partner was spying every chance he got to go on, and how it shows you the times they've gone on I found it was even when I nipped for a shower. Now I'm up for anything with him but then realised he's clearly a porn addict. I've also had the excuses of "testing out the settings" must think we were born yesterday

Same here ladies 🤗🤗🤗
Shit isn't it ! And I wouldn't mind but I'm a highly sexed woman and he ain't half as adventurous as me .
Sick of speaking to him about this 😳
Now he watches it on private browsing
I'm like whatever and it does get me down but they ain't gonna stop . My dh doesn't wank to porn though ( mostly) and will buy me sex toys underwear and encourage me to watch porn 😳 so what to do with that one .....

If porn is your red line and you have told him this twice and he has crossed this anyway, I would have a huge issue with this OP.

It is no longer about the porn but his respect for his partner's boundaries.

The thing is it’s a very arbitrary red line. It’s okay if you specify those things at the start of the relationship so they can choose to not go any further if they disagree, but you can’t spring it on someone after getting married say like you can’t suddenly say I hereby ban you from reading books about communism it is my red line

OP stated in her first post she had told the partner she had issues with porn early in the relationship and the reasons for this-are you commenting more generally Barbara?

Yes it’s not nice is it. He isn’t just watching occasionally (in which case you’d never have to know) but he’s obviously doing it quite often. I think it’s time to split.