Would this bother you?

[Breadroll21]

My partner works Mon - Friday and has a shower at night as he has early starts. He mostly showers every night during mon - Thursday. But come the weekend he seems to lose the motivation. I know sometimes if you’re staying in the house you can just want to chill and not have to make the effort getting dressed. But some weekends, he last showers Thursday night and then won’t have one til Monday night. But then he will have one tues night wed night and Thursday night. I know not everyone showers everyday but I think if you’re in a relationship and you are on day 2 of no shower it’s time to have one. I know this might not be everyone’s view though so would like to get peoples opinion. I have mentioned it to him before when he went 4 days without one and he said it had been a really busy weekend (which it had) but no matter how busy I am I shower daily. Is this a man / woman thing though?

Dh and I both shower daily. Sometimes twice if exercising. I couldn't get dressed without getting washed

Yes it would bother me. I could understand going one day without a shower If you’re tired, and I have done so, but by the next day I’m really feeling grim and need to shower. I wouldn’t want to share a room, let alone a bed with someone who hadn’t showered in 4 days.

Tell him he stinks

Absolutely it would bother me, when dumping my last partner, (not the only reason) but I said it bothered me that he wouldn't wash over the weekend or holidays when home with me, I felt like he wasn't attracted to me to care enough to wash.

It would bother me too, it bothers me if I get to late afternoon without taking a shower myself! (young baby) but we both shower daily as does my older DS. I would have to say something again I think.

Does he at least wash daily? Brush teeth etc?

@YouBoughtMeAWall that’s exactly my thoughts, I understand that just because I shower everyday it doesn’t mean he has to. But I think it should be every other day at least. Some weeks he showers at the weekend but this weekend is one of the ones he’s skipped a shower all weekend. Which is the reason I have felt the urge to post on here. I am going to say something again tomorrow but wanted to get some independent views first.

I guess it depends how sweaty/smelly you are. I would go a number of days without a shower (baby wipe of arm pits if time) at times when my children were babies as too busy/tired to fit one it on occasions. I worried I smelled but my husband informed me I didn't, even if I'd pulled on the same T-shirt and jeans for a few days. I guess I'm not a sweaty person. If I smelled though I would have tried harder to fit it in I'm sure.

I obs prefer to shower daily and often have a shower and a bath or even two baths a day if I had the choice/time.

I'd just tell him if he smells. I'd maybe drop in to conversation how nice it is snuggling up to him after he has come out of the shower.

Alternatively you could go on a shower strike one weekend and see if he says anything.

@seensome that’s how I feel, that he makes the effort for work but then weekends he isn’t as bothered. @Rosecottage888 yes as far as I can tell he will brush his teeth everyday. I feel like not showering for a week and having greasy hair and see how he likes it!

Massive turn off - no way that's just too many days w/o showering

@ColdCottage I always make a point of saying how nice he smells when he has a shower at night during the week. I know men don’t tend to be as conscious about washing, and I don’t want to ‘dictate’ to him but I do think he should be showering every other day at least.

That is very grim .

Theres no way i would share a bed with him.

Filth muppet.

Depending on his work you could ask him to shower when he gets home on the Friday with current circumstances being as they are.
My husband goes straight in the shower and changes clothes on his return for Covid reasons. That doesn’t solve Saturday/Sunday but I think it’s a fair request to make at the moment

I would feel like it was disrespectful to not be clean when spending time with a partner. It shows a lack of care / understanding in a way.

Not on. We should all shower every day IMO, but especially men.

Im a twice a day'er too 🚿

Yuck. Adults should wash or shower daily with the odd exception.

Of course this should bother you, it's fucking disgusting and nothing but pure laziness. It takes just a couple of minutes to wash your body. I'd be insulted that he clearly doesn't even care how you feel about his level of hygiene.

I have mentioned it to him today & he has taken it on the chin and says he will make more of an effort at weekend.

My other half is the same but I don't keep tabs on when he showers to be honest, I just know it's not everyday but he never smells lol What he does is up to him, he's a grown man. I shower daily and we both always make sure to shower before we do the deed.
I think that's great your DP listened to you and is willing to put more effort in good luck

@Kellte thanks, like you say he’s a grown man so it’s hard to get the right balance of me not telling him what to do but also him recognising it’s shower time!! He assures me he will be smelling of roses by tonight 😅

All those who say you should shower everyday , why ? Its not good for some peoples skin to shower daily , if they don't smell and generally are not getting dirty
Agree thurs fo monday a bit much, if had one sat would break it up at least

Because my pits smell in the morning when I get out of bed and I dont want to stink of BO all day

@donewithitalltodayandxmas I agree not everyone has to shower every day but I think it should be at least every other day especially if you’re in a relationship. Like you say, If he has one on a Saturday to break it up over the weekend I would be happy with that. 😊

Yes, this would bother me. Maybe everyday is not necessary (although i like a shower everyday, as does my husband thankfully), but Thursday to Monday without a shower is a really long time. It is disrespectful to you if you are sharing a bed.