I’ve been with my boyfriend for 18 months. Met on a night out. He has a little girl, aged 4 and I have none. When we met he was still living with his ex (I know), she had cheated on him and is still with her new guy. My boyfriend is living in the loft but is due to move out next month. When we met I made it clear I didn’t want to be a rebound and he insisted he was over her etc.
Everything had been going well up until a couple of months ago when he started saying he never had time to himself, stopped staying over as much as he used to etc. I’ve barely seen him for the past 2-3 weeks. I’ve said that I feel that he doesn’t have time for a relationship. He said he didn’t know. I’ve not spoken to him since. I think I need to contact him and say it’s not working? Do you agree? We usually speak every day. I hate being in limbo. I’m worried about his mental health. I didn’t recognise him on the phone when we spoke, it’s like he’d turned into a different person. Should I check he’s ok? I’ve been giving him some space.
I’ve been single on/off throughout my 30s (just turned 38) My life is uncomplicated and I’m starting to realise our priorities are out of whack. I would like a family, however I realise that it may be too late for me. I think I can come to terms with that if I do my very best to try and find someone and it doesn’t happen. If I hang around in a relationship that’s going nowhere, even though I do love him I will resent myself and him.
I’m just feeling sad for him because he’s obviously not coping at the moment and being in a relationship with me is clearly adding to his stresses it seems and sad for me at the end of yet another promising relationship and wondering where it’s all gone wrong. I can’t stand the thought of doing OLD again.
I think if I’m honest with myself he may be over her, but he’s not over the situation and everything that’s happened. He needs time to be by himself and start afresh.
Thanks for listening to my rambles.