Next stage of life

[Howcanwehelp]

Anyone here been married 20 plus years? Dh and I have been together 18 years, kids now at secondary and I guess moving into the next stage of life. What's your advice? How do you make sure it still works when you're changing as people as your priorities change (less drive at work, more taking things easy etc).

Make time as a couple. Difficult at the moment, I know, teenage DS makes spontaneity impossible for us.
Allow each other independence to follow an interest so you can both enjoy time away from the growing family. But it must be a fair arrangement. It’s also important to show interest and support the others interest otherwise resentment creeps in.
DH took early retirement and I work part time having massively reduced stress at work. Last year was supposed to be fun for us. Sneaking off for days out together. Starting an exercise regime together. I know lots of together but we do have a lot of independence from each other. We just wanted to work towards balance.
Instead we have had a year of being very together. Some problems but generally we have been getting on far better than when we were both in full time stressful jobs. My fear was that when DS leaves home we will have nothing in common but having plenty of time to reflect on our future we are very much looking forward to it rather than dreading it.

Hmmm, we probably fall into this. Children are all teens-one, nearly two at university. Mortgage is looking to be paid off early in 5-10 years, no disasters allowing. Work is hard though-whereas DH is in a senior role, is WFH and now has a lot of flexibility, I work in a school and am feeling rather expensive compared to others which often has consequences! So, career worries which is hard.

Other than work, my focus is on the kids, obviously and making sure they are ok-but trying to do thinks to the house that we couldn’t afford to do before. Spending time together over lockdown has done us good as well.

No advice there, just wittering though! Sorry.