Am I being sensitive or is he an arse

[Sparkles556]

Just a bit of a back story. Been with DP almost 8 years. 4 year old DS together and currently 32 weeks pregnant with our second DS. Was sorting through kitchen things last night when I came across some scales. DP had a go on them then told me to. Told him I didn’t want to as being 32 weeks pregnant I’ll have put weight on and I’d rather not put myself in a bad mood knowing what I weigh or how much weight I’ve put on. He kept on pestering me to have a go and wouldn’t take no for an answer so in the end I gave in and had a go. His reaction was “Jesus my mum (who is overweight) is only 3 stone heavier” Was fuming but couldn’t be arsed with an argument so I let it go over my head and told myself when I’ve had the baby I’ll lose weight. Anyway, earlier on this morning I said to him “we’ve got some bacon in the fridge if you want me to make us some” to which he replied “is that all you think about” By this point I just lost it and burst into tears which resulted in a full blown argument between us. Currently not speaking to him as too angry but he can’t understand what my problem is and says I’m being sensitive

He’s an arse.

Three stone is a big difference! (Not that you need to justify yourself anyway).

He’s making comments about your food and weight whilst pregnant? He’s so so out of line and I’m fuming in your behalf!

That's really unkind. I am angry for you. It is totally unacceptable for anyone to speak to you that way, pregnant or not. For the first time I think you should end the relationship. You are vulnerable and his behaviour is hateful.

It appears that he fully set you up for that whole exchange. Pestered you to get on the scales even after you said you didn't want to. Actively pestered you and then took the opportunity to say a really shitty thing about your weight. He's also followed it up this morning with another shitty and unwarranted comment. As someone else has said, 3 stone is a huge difference in weight so there is no comparison with his mother.

Makes me wonder if there's a history of this type of behaviour? Does he often manufacture ways to be spiteful?

If not and this is a one off I'd tell him clearly he's been a first class dick and to back-the-fuck-off about weight and food. And he can fuck off with the 'sensitive' comments - that's just a thing horrible people use to put the blame for their nastiness on to the other person.

If its longer term I'd consider my options here (acknowledging you're in a very difficult position) watch for patterns, keep a log of them for yourself and think about why someone who has committed their life to you is pretty horrible to you.

How many posts are you going to make on this theme, all with the same title?
It's getting a bit obvious. O/10

@BaronessBomburst sorry?

He’s a shit.
I didn’t put on much weight in pregnancy as I’m fat. My sister who was v slim had weird comments in pregnancy from my mum and other sister about how they couldn’t wait to see her fat. Most odd, it’s a baby, not fat. People are bloody odd about other people’s bodies.
Lose weight in the future if you want to, don’t do it for him. If he makes another dig, tell him you could lose weight, about 13 stone* of useless weight.

• whatever weight your delightful husband is.

How was he with your ds pregnancy? Are you remembering shaming remarks from then or is this out of the blue?
He is an arse.

He is an arse.

He’s a knob
Why are you with him ?

He's a spiteful toad

What a prick ! Your pregnant for god sake !

Absolutely out of order!!!! It sounds like he knew exactly what he was doing, pestering you to get on the scales knowing full well you would have put on weight (as you are supposed to while pregnant)!

Does he normally make comments about your weight/appearance?

Is he that thick he doesn't realise that women will weigh more when they are very pregnant?

In context, if I lost 3st I'd be dead.

He is a fucking arse. Does he make comments about your weight when you're not pregnant or is the weight of your growing baby and all the things that come with (amniotic fluid, placenta etc) the issue for him?

I'll repeat, he is a fucking arse.

No you are not being sensitive. He obviously has a problem with you carrying extra weight and has tried to no-so-subtley let you know in case you get any ideas about not losing it straight away when the baby is born. Horrible bastard.

I wouldn’t be able to forget this either. Men often show their true colours when you are vulnerable and pregnant with their child. Stay aware of it OP - it may well just be the start of a drip, drip of putting you down.