Is it my fault or just an accident

[nosleepmonkey]

We were out for a walk and DD (just gone 4) was holding my hand but still managed to walk into a lamp post. DH then had a go at me saying it was my fault. Obviously I expected her to walk around it and she was just not watching where she was going. Basically I'm tired of having to blame all the time it's really wearing me down. To be fair to him she did take a big tumble recently and it was my fault. I feel awful about it but surely sometimes things are just an accident? He slid off the road and wrote off my car last year. That was an accident I didn't blame him. I know not entirely the same but always always he has to blame someone and get angry. It's making me quite sad now.

Did you push her into the lamppost? If not, then its not your fault. Was she not watching where she was going?

No I didn't push her just walking normally. Is this a bit of a crazy reaction?

Well it was an accident, I remember being four, I was pretty capable of watching out for lamp posts so I don't blame you for assuming your dd could look out for them 😁,. However sometimes I get grumpy and project worries onto my husband, I'm pretty sure I've blamed him for accidents at times with our kids as well. I usually calmed down and apologised though Try and talk to him when you are both calm and say it makes you feel as when he blames you? See how he responds,?

We all have accidents sometimes, regardless of age (like your DH and your car). 4 is old enough to know how to avoid a lamppost. It's a shame she got hurt, but this is how children learn, you can't protect them from everything.

Are you saying he blames you for things and kicks off about it on a regular basis?

Do you often get blamed for things, OP?

Perhaps he’s just upset about her being hurt. And if she fell recently and it was your fault ( as you say) he might just be thinking WTF? Unless there’s a back story here I’d let it slide

My DH and I have sometimes blamed the other when something has gone wrong for one of our kids. It's a natural reaction when you're worried about your child but the other parent was "in charge". However it's not reasonable to persist with the blame- we explain what happened to each other and forgive.

Eugh my ex used to do this about EVERYTHING. I'd often point out that there is really no need to apportion blame for every slight thing but he never bloody listened. It was part of an incredibly negative environment to live in.

I'd say he has to blame someone for everything. It is just his way. I don't often get the blame for things no I don't think. But he makes little comments that really affect me. He is very critical but cannot take criticism himself. In writing this I've only just realised that. Like for example he said once that my cooking is crap. It really isn't! But now I just let him cook for a peaceful life. I'm questioning a lot in our relationship tbh.

How was it your fault she took a tumble before?
Why does someone need to take the blame?

@dementedpixie we have been having some issues and I was a bit upset and head wasn't in the right place. I went out for a walk and DD wanted to come with me. I also have a small premature baby and sleep is rare for me though not an excuse really. Anyway she wanted to come then as we were leaving she asked to bring her scooter and I forgot her helmet. She fell and hit her head leaving a big egg. She never normally falls it was just so typical that for some reason I forgot.

Ironically it's morally my husband that doesn't bother with the helmet and me nagging him!!

It sounds like you’re both under a lot of stress, is your relationship usually good?
My OH always blames me when something happens under my care, he’s just very anxious about safety.