Can we have some positive OLD stories?

[Somethingmavelous]

Just been dumped by a guy I met online, we had only been seeing each other for a few months, but man it hurts.

I thought I might have found one of the good ones as although he wasn't perfect by any stretch I thought he was decent, intelligent, warm, kind and funny.
Turned out he was dishonest about what he wanted from me.

Please can I hear some heart-warming tales, of lovely men you've met online especially if you are in your 40s when you first met.
I need to know there might still be some hope for me (very unlikely to meet a bloke in real life because of my circumstances).

No way as long as these here but met in July and stayed together through this weird lockdown. We had chatted online a few months earlier as friends, then lost touch as he was clearly looking at casual but then he came to find me again and we decided to meet 'as friends' and it has been wonderful ever since. Who knows where it may go but he's wonderful and good to me.

I met the love of my life on pof.

Unfortunately he died so it's not the fairytale you're after. However, should we not have been parted I'm sure it absolutely would have.

Keep going with an open mind. I only actually met up with him because he was super local, had no red flags in his messages and thought why not. His photos were a bit crap. So glad I did

@StormBaby Does he have a brother?

No positive stories here. Only countless toads.

Im sorry to hear things didnt work out.
Every failed relationship brings you closer to the One hopefully. I did OLD for over 10 years. Starting with Match, before apps even existed. I have met many decent guys. In fact i have had all of my relationships from online sites and apps.
I met my DP on Bumble 2 years ago, we are both in our 30s. We are getting married this year. He was consistent from the very beginning. No hot or cold, no playing hard to get. I always felt secure. He is loving, kind, hardworking, funny and makes me very happy.
There are a lot of decent guys on OLD, pretty much everyone uses these apps so just like in 'real' life there are idiots and decent guys on them too.
Good luck!

Bf and I are both in our mid 40s, neither have been married before. We met on Bumble in Feb last year but have really only been dating since after lockdown. Relationship is everything I could have hoped for and more. We are planning to be living together for at least some of the time by autumn of this year and providing things keep going well, will get married/buy somewhere together etc next year.

Not sure what circumstances you mean but I love the saying you'll be worth it at your worst to someone you are meant to be with and never good enough for someone you aren't.

@Somethingmavelous

He did tell me *@GerryoftheSerengeti* - I think that fits his 'nice guy' narrative, but actually if he had been honest he was only after a short fling I would have been happy with that and not been left so upset by the whole thing.

Unfortunately men are very clued up that if they openly say they just want a casual fling, it severely limits their options because there are far fewer women looking for the same thing.

They know a lot of women on OLD are keen for relationships and are obviously struggling somewhat to find the guys they want in 'real life', and therefore will readily sleep with any guy that appears to be nice and a good catch. As a result most mislead about their true intentions and simply use online dating to serially date and sleep with an endless stream of women who make themselves available to them. They typically go out with a woman for a few months then dump to chase the next one. Sleeping with guys within those first few months is therefore very risky.

[quote SpaceRaiders]@StormBaby Does he have a brother?

No positive stories here. Only countless toads.[/quote]
Hahaha! He does @SpaceRaiders but they are neither as good looking nor as useful.

Two friends of mine have met lovely guys from Bumble and Hinge during lockdown in the past year! There’s always hope

I met my Fiancè on POF.
I was a single mum of 4..... he was a single bloke with no kids.
NEVER in a million years did I think he'd stick with me...... we did a year of long distance dating (about 50mins away from each other via car)
We saw each other every weekend and sometimes during the week too.
We now live together with an extra addition who is now 5...... it's been tough sometimes and I think he struggled and was overwhelmed by 4 kids but we've kinda made it. He proposed last July and I honestly couldn't be happier. It's the best relationship I've ever had and he is absolutely my soul mate and true love.

My only regret is that I never met him sooner...... but everything always happens for a reason. ❤️

Meant to add..... I met him when I was 31..... I've just turned 39.
I came a with a world of baggage and complications, not to mentions jealous ex's who did everything they could to stir up trouble..... I myself had issues (still have a few tbh)...... but he saw thru it and must have seen something behind my tires single mum eyes 😘
Don't give up

Met mine online in a Facebook group when I was 37.
Just coming up for 5 years later and we should have got married last year, trying again this year.
He accepted me and my 3DC as a package and has been totally loving and supportive from day one.
It can and does happen.

Met online too. I was 38 - 12 years later we’re married. He can be a grumpy git at times but I adore him x

I met my DP online - twitter, madly enough.
He wrote a tweet about substituting Pancake Day for another food type day (think Italian dish 🇮🇹🍕) - I messaged him in agreement.

Looking at buying our own house and then will start TTC :)))) x

So lovely to hear these positive stories, I haven't been OLD for long, but am already pretty jaded!
I'm happy to have casual relationships (if they are exclusive - especially in these times) I just hate the lying and the future faking.
It makes it so hard to trust anyone and it's so hard not to become completely cynical.

I am someone else who went through the same thing as you OP.

In fact i had been going through it on and off for 10 years or so before I met DP on POF.

My relationships with OLD people lasted 4 - 6 months, all the future faking, relationship faking essentially.

The last one of these arseholes i met was exactly the same. 1 day he was driving me around the countryside to look at houses for us together, the next day he's dumping me out of the blue.
My heart just broke. Another person I had given everything to who, who made all the right noises, who was seemingly as in to it as me - if not more. Then its over and he's gone... on to the next shiny shag.

3 months after my heart was literally shattered i met DP.

I was more resiliant by that point and wasnt willing to take any crap.

Just ovee 2 years later and we are waiting to complete on our house and talking a possible wedding next year.
As soon as i saw his photos i thought "youre a bit of me". He isnt perfect but he is perfect for me.

Dont give up.

I found "Mr. Professional" with their high flying well paid jobs to be the worst future fakers. They always think they deserve perfect super models, and of course, humans arent perfect so it leads to a churn onto the next seemingly perfect girl... until they arent perfect...

I had been on-line dating for around a year. Fell hopelessly for one guy I matched with on POF who I dated for about 2/3 months - was pretty hurt when he ended things. Had a few more dates that didn't really lead anywhere. Matched with my current BF on Badoo and Bumble beginning of March last year - luckily we managed to meet just before lockdown 1.0. We're now very much a couple and happy to say both in love. Early days for us but 'm very happy and we are looking forward to the future together. at this point who know's if we'll make it but I'm so glad we met, when and how we did.

Keep going with OLD - you never know who the next match may be - just try not to take it too seriously. We all know there are a lot of time wasters on there - but there are some decent men too. Good Luck

oh -ps I'm late 40's :)

I met my DP via OD when I was 40, after a succession of only meeting pretty much the worst men in the (dating) world.

I messaged him first, not something I usually do, because he seemed nice and intelligent. Not in a boastful 'I'm in a very important job way' - came across a few of them and they always were looking for a trophy partner rather than an intellectual equal. But I could just tell from his profile he was different. Only downside was lookwise I wasn't sure he'd do it for me. But we chatted so much before the date I felt like I'd already made a friend. Anyway, when I turned up he looked nothing like his photos and was exactly my type. I remember going to the loo mid date and jumping up and down because I'd finally hit the jackpot

Several years on we've had some really difficult times and had to deal with a lot (bereavement including the loss of a child, MH issues, life limiting illness, job loss, house moves and other traumatic events) but I can't imagine him never being a part of my life.

Done OLD on and off for a couple of years met many a frog and met many a nice guy who just wasn't for me. It was disheartening a lot of the time but I wanted to meet someone so I kept taking breaks away from it and trying again when I wanted to. Over 2 years ago I met the guy that I'm with now. We've a great relationship and I'm thankful that I didn't give up. All is takes is one right match so when your ready for it go fit it

I'm going to save this thread and read it in my darkest days when I'm so fed up of dealing with all the crap of OLD - hoping I get lucky one day too!