Hard to accept it’s over

[Playdohandelves]

With lockdown and both of us working and living separately it’s just impossible. Been together nearly two years but both have dc so cant really move in together at the moment - it wouldn’t work.
Gradually just feeling more and more disconnected, there’s no time and we are both in survival mode.
I think without covid we’d have been ok but who knows. Maybe I’m just not destined to be with anyone.

It's hard, I'm feeling the 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' at the moment and miss my BF and it's cementing my feelings (we've only been together since August)

But I have times when I'm too stressed and busy and think what's the point I don't know him (that) well yet.

Over 5 months we've only met up 10-15 times so it still feels new

I don't even know if I'd like him as much if he was around more! 😬

I flip flop. I do know that he has good values, morals and intentions and a 'good' personality.

If he was pressuring me to meet up or choosing me (sex) over his kids I would think less of him

*sigh

We do talk A LOT though and it's nice to be on the same page about it all. We both agreed we wanted to meet but wouldn't before Christmas as his kids mum has additional health issues

I think I’m starting to think - what’s the point. This could be years. It’s such an effort and I feel under resourced. Seeing each other makes a world of difference and now it’s very difficult again.

Do you both talk? Are you both feeling the same about the virus? It's shit but I do but more effort into a relationship when I think the other person is doing their best. I really value consciousness because that's what I'm like and would like understanding if the situation were reversed

I think ultimately I’m just not secure enough to be with someone I can barely see. There’s no shared experiences. And I feel like I’m back in survival mode. It just drags on and on and I’m exhausted. I think neither of us have the energy perhaps for anything else and that’s fair enough.
It’s just sad because I think we’d have made it without the pandemic and even if we hadn’t at least I’d have known we just weren’t compatible.

I think I'd be the same with one of my ex's as it was a convenience/ friendship relationship. I never really felt he was choosing me or prioritising me. But at the time a casual boyfriend was all I wanted.

Maybe you just haven't found the one worth making the effort for.
Sometimes we do decide someone is 'good enough' rather than the love of your life. Or somewhere in between. As long as you don't fall madly in love with the wrong one! Sorry I'm digressing
I've had this on my mind recently
I'm quite happy alone and have not lived with a man since my daughters dad 7 years ago. I keep hoping for the right one but I'm happy enough with my lot in life if I continue as I am. With the odd boyfriend for fun. When we can have fun, travel and go out again!

Your post resonates a lot OP. My partner and I don't live together and both have children. Together two years but I feel disconnected and distant from him. I can't really see a future anymore and it
makes me so sad.