Feel like I've had no choice..

[Ntwa]

But to end things.
NC for this
Goes like this..
Met dp 4yrs ago..talked about him moving to my area (were an hr apart) about 1.5yrs in.. I was SO happy.
He changed his mind due to not wanting to transfer in his job.
We talked about compromising and meeting half way.. That wasn't an option.
It was left and I realised the only way was for me to move his way.
He then didnt want to sell his house.. Loves the area etc.. But I can't work from his (I work from home) and he knew that.
Back and forth, rows in between. Each time I've been 'unreasonable' in how I think about it all and he feels bad because he 'has no answers'
We've split a couple of times with me hoping that it will give him a kick up the rear. It seemed to work..he had ideas, plans.. Again I was excited..bit it entailed me giving everything up.. Then covid hit and I panicked.. So have said I can't do it. No guaruntee ill be able to start work back up then I have no income.
So times gone along.. Throughout the whole relationship I've had friends marry, have babies (both of no interest to me with him) and move/buy houses etc.. It hadn't bothered me.. Until now.
Here we are 4yrs in.. Still stuck in this rut.. Him clearly not bwithered as he hasn't broached it once or even tried to change my mind/help with options.. And I see that as him not being bothered.
I'm heartbroken.. I love him.. I've never been so happy with someone before but can't do this 2 day week relationship anymore.
I've told him as much and he says I'm irrational'.. Maybe I am but sometimes things just can't work can they..

Walk away, how can you love a man who won’t even consider any sort of compromise to advance your relationship?
He doesn’t need to do anything, you have always gave in and let him have his way.
Don’t waste any more time on him.

So you're 'irrational' because you want something different from him?
I don't think this is going to change. If it's making you unhappy and not meeting your needs, it's time to end it, however 'irrational' he might think that is.
I'm not clear on whether you do want children or not, or that it's not something he wants so is a non starter with him. Depending on your age, if you do want children that's another good reason not to hang around in this relationship.

He wants everything his way doesn’t he? No compromise l can see from him. This doesn’t bode well for the future. I would cut my losses if l was you.

Why are you irrational?! Oh yeah, you aren’t toeing the line, you’re questioning things and not doing things his way ASAP

What a shame OP. He's really strung you along. Feels to me that he's purposefully blocked any progression with on the face of it reasonable (albeit inflexible) reasons, fact is if he wanted what you wanted, it would have happened by now.

He's wasted your time and now he's calling you irrational? I doubt it malicious but it's certainly careless and selfish. Time to move on.

What are you worth.
What do you want for the rest of your future.
Go with those

Thanks for the replies. Hard to hear but I'm a way good as know I'm making the right 'head' decision.. My 'heart' wants this to work so much but life's short and as one of you said if it was going to happen it would have done by now. Sad times

You've split and hoped for change numerous times from the sounds of it- don't get stuck in this cycle any longer. He gives just enough to keep you, but not enough to make it worth staying.

Save yourself anymore heartache for the nothingness he gives.

It sounds like you were more into him, than he was into you

You want different things

Time to end it

can't you rent a work space?

Thanks for the replys. That's the hard but.. We don't want different things.. We've both wanted the same for ages.. The logical.. Sensible.. Cost effective way would be for him to move my way.. But he won't.. Can't.. So maybe you're right.. Maybe he isn't that into me after all.. Know knows.
No I can't rent a workspace

What he says he wants and what his actions say are oceans apart. Don't waste your life.

Cards on the table time. And make it absolutely clear that this is the last time you try and make it work, put a time scale on it. Life is too short, OP.

Make a list of what you cannot compromise on, what you could compromise on and what doesn't matter. If you cannot sort out the first list with him, it is not going to work and you need to move on.

Look at who he is - he wants you to do all compromise, he won’t be making any, thank you very much.

No respect that you have built a business which could fold if he will not compromise.

That’s what you ‘love’, that’s what you have to look forward to for years if you choose to stay with him. And it will only become worse as time goes on, not better.

Look after you, you really do deserve far better.

Thanks lex a list would be good if I had any energy to go over it again but I feel I've aired my point/views/reasons etc a 100 times. I'm actually a very easy going, will g, compromising person but to be called irrational after 4 years has actually really upset me.

Little agreed. He 'could' move.. It would make his life a little harder BUT he could. He could compromise with distance but no..ye sthe fact my business would be stopped and especially now is a huge risk to try and start up again he just doesn't appear to care as he says things like 'I can't be responsible for your business... He won't. I need to keep telling myself that. What I struggle with is his amazing he tells me he is. How he couldnt imagine being with anyone else etc etc.. Hmm just not enough. I feel dreadful but I know when I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

Someone who calls you irrational for asking to have your perfectly acceptable needs met, is not someone you want to share a home or a life with anyway. Cut him loose, free yourself.

Wander thanks I'm trying to tell myself that

So we're day 14.. Nothing.. Isn't it quite incredible how people can behave..

Has he even tried to contact you or have you blocked him x

Sometimes you have to be brave and this is one of them. Bring it to an end.

It's clear from the history he is very selfish and it was his way or the highway!

You deserve someone so much better

We don't want different things.. We've both wanted the same for ages.

No, you haven't. He has given lip-service to wanting what you want. But he's completely unwilling to compromise or take any action, he wants to stay in his house, in his job, in his area, and if you want to give everything single thing of yours to be with him, that would be OK with him. But otherwise seeing you 2 days a week suits him just fine.

@Itstimetoquit we wats app, I muted and archived him purely because I use it a lot for work and hated seeing his name there and nothing.. But no, no messages.
@HT7654 I know, thanks for replying
@randommess I know, I just feel like I've meant nothing after all this time

Oh sorry, didn't read the update.

Yep he's not a nice person really. Be thankful you have realised before moving and giving up your life for me him