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Relationships

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How do you know what to look for with Online dating?

3 replies

lbab1702 · 08/01/2021 23:55

Long time lurker and love reading the OLD threads which have helped me so much. I’ve just deleted all the apps, to have a break, because I’ve totally lost really knowing what I’m looking for.
I have the perfect man in mind, but online, it’s all about the photos and what their profile does or doesn’t say.
So do you just go for looks ( if there’s no text about themselves), or if there is a good profile, ignore/be none judgemental till you meet about the photos?

OP posts:
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 09/01/2021 00:38

If there was just a photo and he hasn’t gone to any effort to fill in a profile I’d ignore. If he can’t make the effort to write a few sentences about himself, what does that say about him? And the same goes for someone who puts “ill fill this bit in later” or “if u want 2 know anything just ask”. Lazy lazy boys. You’re the product on offer here mate, sell yourself to me!

I’m a stickler for proper spelling and grammar - not a total pedant, but I don’t want an illiterate twat - so I’d immediately scroll past someone who used text speak or atrocious spelling etc.

I had a fairly wide age range (4 years below my age and 10 years above) but a narrow geographical area to keep things simple. I knew I wouldn’t want to be travelling every weekend to meet up with someone.

I was pretty ruthless with chats. Gave them a couple of days and then either bin them off or meet up ASAP. That way you don’t waste time chatting like pen pals and building up a false sense of closeness. Until you see each other you have no way of knowing if it’s real or has potential.

Looks aren’t that important to me, in that I fancy a wide range of types, any height, any weight, hair or no hair etc. It was more important to me that we had a laugh and things felt easy.

If your ideal man in your mind has certain physical characteristics then I’d scrap that for starters. How would you feel if someone ruled you out of their search because you’re two inches too short or have the wrong coloured eyes?

A lot of people say that income and background are important, but I think that where you came from isn’t as important as where you’re going, and income isn’t as important as your general attitudes to money/work/recreation etc. A high earner who works 80 hour weeks and spends half his money on coke is no use to anyone, but a man on a lower income who’s a great cook and has a decent pension is going to be a much better bet long term.

WillYouDoTheFandango · 09/01/2021 00:46

If there’s anything that feels wrong and you’re wondering whether to give the benefit of the doubt, in my experience, don’t. If you think “surely he’s joking” or “I’m sure I’m overthinking it”, it’ll probably come back to bite you later on.

I don’t mean to be negative, I just think online dating can sometimes make you settle/accept things that you wouldn’t if you were talking face to face.

Somethingmavelous · 09/01/2021 05:36

I haven't got much experience (or had much luck) with OLD - but I had read on here to get people your not 100% sure of physically a chance. When I met a guy I didn't really fancy him from his profile but the chat was great, when we met I didn't fancy him, but the chat was great, I gave it a chance and we kissed, it was fireworks and we were really compatible in bed. It didn't last very long for other reasons but that's other story.

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