Letti35
Hi I’m currently in a relationship since August/September 2015 and I have a daughter from a previous partner and my partner has two boys from a previous marriage/partner.. since then I’ve given birth to two more children 2017 and 2019, both planned as well and I couldn’t be happier with them, but my issue is regarding my step boys and the fact is I feel they treat me and my family so much more differently then they do they’re family back home, now they are from a different background and upbringing I’m white British my partner is black Caribbean, when I first met my partner his boys were back in the Caribbean with they’re mother and some reason I don’t fully know the ins and outs of the whole thing, he went over to the Caribbean back home to take the boys from they’re mother due to her apparently not caring from them properly, but they tell me differently and that they’re mum wanted them to come over to have a better chance of an education etc and that they’re father had promised to send for they’re mother and older step brother once they’d settled here but I was seeing they’re father at the time so that doesn’t sit right with me, I feel as though he is or they’re keeping something from me as it seems they know differently from what they’re fathers told me but I’ve kept that issue in mind and feel like maybe that’s why the boys don’t really show any respect towards me when I’m taking care of them when they’re dad works, we all live in the same house and sometimes things are okay, but when I first met the boys they had manners and showed respect but as they’ve got older( Pre teens ) they seem to lack any manners or respect and if feels even more so when they’re father isn’t home and they ignore me as a authoritative person in the home, always smart mouth and ignoring me, they seem to like provoking my first born who has autism and adhd and global delay so struggling with her own issues as well as mental health
, they seem to do nothing but moan about her when she does stuff that’s part of her condition that she can’t always control or help it, I do discipline her in a way she understands when she does misbehave and it works but they say I treat her differently and she should be punished how they would for misbehaving but they don’t understand I can’t treat her the same as them regarding discipline as it needs to be done in a way she understands so although when I discipline them for misbehaving I treat each child for the conditions they have so they understand in a way that works for them the end result is the same, I hope someone can understand what I mean, but even when I do feel I’m doing something right the boys give me more reason to dislike them I mean I’ve tried treating them like they’re my own but they don’t seem to want me either, they’ve told me multiple times they’re mum is more important to them but I don’t disagree there just that they should show me the same respect as they do her as it’s me with they’re father but even till today they don’t show me any respect and I’m starting to feel hateful, unfortunately I’m finding it difficult to love them and feel I’m just in my relationship as a caregiver for the boys, I don’t know if I should take a break from my relationship or just walk away completely because I’ve got my first born with special needs but two infants with him so it would be hard and understand the circumstances we face with COVID-19 it’s hard to find the right help, sorry about the long winded post but I really need some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation xx