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Original poster

Did I say something wrong?

32 replies

bedreadff · 08/01/2021 21:07

I'm talking to a guy on tinder.
He lives in Birmingham and his parents live in Essex.
He told me his parents both have covid and his dad is really poorly and the ambulance got called today.
So I reply I was so sorry to hear that and I hope he makes a quick recovery.
Then I said it must be so frustrating living so far away and with the lockdown rules not being able to go see him.
Then he sent me quite a short reply saying
"Excuse me,if he became really unwell,I would be down straight away like most would!!!
It's my father and nothing would stop me!!!
He is being well looked after!!"
I have a feeling I said something wrong?
Did I?
I didn't mean anything by it

OP posts:
IndieTara · 08/01/2021 21:10

He's probably stressed and maybe feeling a bit guilty, purely because he lives so far away. I doubt it was really aimed at you

Original poster
bedreadff · 08/01/2021 21:12

I just replied "of course you would,family is everything,if you need anything let me know"
No reply.
He must be so stressed
Hopefully I didn't upset him

OP posts:
Original poster
bedreadff · 08/01/2021 21:17

Oh he's un matched me!!!!

OP posts:
Lolailo · 08/01/2021 21:19

I think he is feeling understably stressed and wanting to go see his dad. He must be very worried and on his way/thinking of going.

While that is in his mind, you sent a message saying that he can't go and he lashed out saying "suck protocols, of course I will"

Lolailo · 08/01/2021 21:20

I think you were coming from a caring place, but it could also be read as judgy/covid police specially if he is under a lot of stress, and he was very upset by it (his interpretation)

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 08/01/2021 21:21

He sounds like hard work. Bullet dodged. You didn’t say anything wrong.

bloodywhitecat · 08/01/2021 21:22

Is he replying to the right person? I can see nothing in your message that warrants that reply.

SomewhatBored · 08/01/2021 21:22

He's probably too busy with his parents to have time for Tinder - don't take it personally.

Wanderlusto · 08/01/2021 21:23

He sounds like a dick.
Stress or no stress. Bullet dodged.

Original poster
bedreadff · 08/01/2021 21:24

We haven't even met in person,if he did he would know I'm not a judgemental person.
Now he has unmatched me so I can't even apologise or anything.
I should think before I speak shouldn't I

OP posts:
Ithinkim · 08/01/2021 21:25

You didn't say anything wrong at all.

He's a weird one. Move on x

CandyLeBonBon · 08/01/2021 21:26

Well that's bizarre - I mean if he needed an ambulance then surely he IS really unwell?!? So that comment makes no sense!

Wanderlusto · 08/01/2021 21:26

You havent said anything to appologise for. He's a bloody weirdo.

I dont see how he could have misconstrued your post as judgy tbh. Ans you've already clarified you weren't being. So why do you think you owe the asshole an appology?

Sod him.

Lolailo · 08/01/2021 21:26

@Bedreadff your response was emphatic and caring! People misunderstanding/misreading/been stressed is not your fault and therefore there is nothing you need to change or apologize for.

Groovinpeanut · 08/01/2021 21:27

Sounds like he has 'issues'
You're best off avoiding men like him. If he was so upset and stressed, he wouldn't be larking on Tinder.

SomewhatBored · 08/01/2021 21:28

@bedreadff

We haven't even met in person,if he did he would know I'm not a judgemental person. Now he has unmatched me so I can't even apologise or anything. I should think before I speak shouldn't I
It isn't you. You're someone he's never even met in person. Put yourself in his shoes - if your loved ones were seriously ill in hospital, would you have any space in your head for someone you'd never met, just chatted to on a dating app? Compared to what's happening with his parents, his interactions with you are unimportant trivia.
EnjoyingTheSilence · 08/01/2021 21:31

Sounds like a lucky escape to me. You did. I thing wrong. Don’t over think it

WinstonmissesXmas · 08/01/2021 21:34

Why would you assume you’ve said something wrong? I’d think he was in idiot and move on! Set your bar higher, you’re worth more Flowers

MutantNinjaCovid · 08/01/2021 21:38

He was probably making it up to get a sympathy shag and you asked too many questions rather than offering to comfort him

seensome · 08/01/2021 21:46

You didn't say anything wrong, I think he was actually rude to you, should of unmatched him first, you were only expressing some sympathy.
There is some very strange people on dating websites, he is one of them.

MrsGlitterSparklesHun · 08/01/2021 21:47

Tbf I would have probably acted in the same way as him. I've done it to people in the past. But it is no reflection on you at all. When you're upset/worried/stressed you misinterpret messages and lash out in different ways. Hes not just had a bad day at work, he has parents ill in a pandemic and lockdown. Its not fair that it was directed at you, you were perfectly nice and if it had been a face to face conversation or you had built up more of a rapport with him the outcome would have likely been very different.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 08/01/2021 21:52

@MutantNinjaCovid

He was probably making it up to get a sympathy shag and you asked too many questions rather than offering to comfort him
Good point! Might have hit the nail on the head here.
Original poster
bedreadff · 08/01/2021 23:03

Oh well his loss.
Hopefully his parents make a quick recovery

OP posts:
MilkMoon · 08/01/2021 23:07

@MutantNinjaCovid

He was probably making it up to get a sympathy shag and you asked too many questions rather than offering to comfort him
That was my first thought.
Honeyroar · 08/01/2021 23:14

He’s either got loads of horrible stuff going on and is stressed out by it or he’s a dickhead. Either way he’s not the ideal person to be dating.

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