Are older brothers generally protective of their sisters?

[SavannahSums]

Hi, lovelies 💐

First, thank you to everyone who wished me well and said goodnight to me on my Goodnight, Mumsnet post last night 💐 It was so sweet and really made my day.

I’m making arrangements now that I’ve decided to end my toxic relationship. I haven’t got much family, unfortunately, but my foster brother has offered for me to stay with him while I get back on my feet again so that I won’t have to be alone. He’s been wonderfully supportive emotionally and I get the feeling that he still feels protective of me like he did when we were kids. It’s been so nice to experience this. And I’m wondering, are a lot of brothers like this? 💐

definitely not mine.

I'm lucky to have 2 older brothers like this. Let him support you xxx

Not mine.

Lucky you.

I am also lucky to have two brothers like this, and my DP is quite protective of his sisters. It's lovely your foster brother is being so supportive, he is family, it really can make all the difference when life has gone to pieces. I hope everything goes as well as it can for you, please stay safe

My son would walk through fire for his little sister. I'm so grateful that they have such a close relationship.

Mine is not like that

Nope, my two older brothers never think to support or protect me, they think I’m there to support them though and also to still tease and take the piss out of me like when we were young. It’s kind of driven me on to achieve way more in my life than they have. They are losers. I’m not there for them anymore, though while our DF is still alive I am civil to them as we need to co-operate to support him.

It’s wonderful that your DB is there for you OP.

Nope . I have two older brothers who don’t give a damn about me . They are both incredibly selfish and self centred .

Mine not so much, but my DS is there for his sister. And BILs are amazing too.
Glad yours is there for you now, OP.

All mine are off me and my younger sister but not so much for my older sisters who are younger than them, except the twin who is protective of his twin sister.

I have two friends' whose older brothers hate them and do everything to make their lives worse. (I've seen one in close action a few times.) The age gap between them is 2-3 years.

One of my nephews' was of his younger sister while growing up. There is a 3 year age gap. Now not so much now though I suspect because he realised he needs to take a step back.

Be careful it isn't of of the frying pan and into the fire op. Especially if you havent been close with this man since you were kids. It may be brotherly love, it may not be.

My experience is that 'protectiveness' isnt usually a good sign. Support, sure. But not protectiveness. It's often a precursor for posessiveness.

Mine were the very opposite of protective.

Mine are, my younger one especially but not in a possessive claustrophobic way. They just look out for their sister.

Mine threw me under the bus when I got the courage to leave my emotionally abusive ex-husband. Wanted to continue socializing with my exH, ignored me for ten years. Has only just turned up looking for contact as if nothing has happened. I declined.

Honestly I think it depends on how they were brought up.

If they saw their dad (or other male role model) being supportive and protective of family members, likely they will follow that. If they were brought up seeing their dad belittle and disrespect their mum, then they're not going to have a healthy example to follow.

I would hope all siblings are protective of each other, older or younger. I'm protective of my big sister.

Rather than any misogynistic, knight in shining armour, ownership of younger girls bullshit.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation my DBs had a great role model in my DF’s handling of his vulnerable younger brother and also of my disabled DM. What they can’t handle is that their little sister grew to be stronger than them. If I was weak they would be great. But even outwardly strong people like me need support and love from their family.

My brother has come into his own since I separated from h.
Possibly because h has turned out to be useless!!

My boy is very protective of his sisters but he’s also protective of his little brother. I think he just has that type of personality, maybe because he is the oldest? It’s lovely to see how caring they can be to each other.

Not all women want or need protecting, and it’s unhealthy to think of yourself as in need of protection.

@Northernparent68

Thank you for saying this. I’ve been reevaluating my own feelings, my fear of starting over without familiar roots anywhere, and I do think I should rely on myself more.

I agree OP. Rely on yourself, any support you receive is a bonus, not a necessity. And you don’t need protection

My two brothers, one older, one younger, are very protective of me. My older one really took care of me growing up. He's fantastic. I'm glad you have your brother to look after you xx

Nope, mine's a narc and I finally cut contact with him last year - such a relief!