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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Whos right or wrong

11 replies

Nine5two4 · 07/01/2021 21:39

Help ! I need advice .. my husband through out our relationship has constantly bullied me when its comes to taking contraception he tell people what ever type im on (and theres been a few as i swap to make him stop) is making me mental and uses it as an excuse for any opposing views i have to his or as an excuse any time im annoyed at him for what ever reason even for expample secrerly racking up debt on a credit card. Well untill sept i had the copper coil removed as hes gone on and on telling friends and family ect it was affecting my mental health and i didnt tell him i know that wrong but i wanted to see if it was actually contraception effecting me turns out nothing changed in me. A few weeks later i came clean and told him it was removed i cant bear lieing and now his throwing it back in my face any oppion or disagreement with have saying im need mental help for lieing to him. I dont know what advice im looking for really just am i in the wrong?

OP posts:
wirldsgonemad · 07/01/2021 21:42

No, he's a dick. You should LTB and find someone decent.

Lemonpiano · 07/01/2021 21:46

Leave him.

Do the Freedom Programme course.

ZadieZadie · 07/01/2021 21:47

What an awful, awful man.

You've done nothing wrong. He is a manipulative piece of shit, and your life would be better without him.

Has he, by any chance, suggested condoms? I bet not - he'd have to show some responsibility and he'd lose his easy way to bully you.

Coriandersucks · 07/01/2021 21:47

You’re only wrong if you stay with this abusive arsehole Flowers

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/01/2021 21:48

How could you possibly be in the wrong?

He’s awful. He’s literally telling you and other people that you’re mentally ill to disregard your thoughts, feelings and observations. That’s appalling.

Nine5two4 · 07/01/2021 21:54

Thankyou i think some times it takes other views to realise things

OP posts:
Worldwide2 · 07/01/2021 21:57

Hes sounds absolutely vile and using it as a way to control you. You're allowed to have your own opinion and difference in views.
Literally bin the bastard. 😡 Made my blood boil reading that.

scoobydoo1971 · 07/01/2021 21:59

You don't need contraception. Your husband sounds like a reason for sexual abstinence. You have bigger problems than contraceptive choices and its potential impact on your well-being. There is only one reason your mental health might be at risk, and you married him. However, we all make mistakes...you can unmarry him, and then you would be instantly cured.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 07/01/2021 22:03

Oh , Op, he's a complete bastard.

Please, please leave him

(He won't fundamentally change, unless his behaviour escalates, and no amount of Relate would turn him into a decent guy who respects you. I've heard there are some out there although I'm very happily single finally (4 years ago) and have no inclination to change that !

It's great that you reached out on here. First step is questioning your reality and being open to change. Be careful tho, he sounds nasty.

Zanina · 08/01/2021 22:30

He's trying to break you down. Leave him and enjoy your life!

howsicklyarsekissy · 08/01/2021 22:34

Horrible man! The copper coil has no hormones in it so it shouldn't affect your mental health anyway. He's vile

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