Is this a good enough reason to have an abortion

[1950s1]

I tried using person A & B scenarios in the past but someone told me to 'keep my beak out' as if I was a 3rd person so I think that I will just be honest about where I stand in these scenarios from now on. My fiance cheated on me, I caught him with black and white proof, text exchanges. The texts were with randoms he met online and had no real connection to. If I never caught him, I think it would've continued for a lot longer than it did. I was very hurt and we were considering splitting but decided to stay together, on the condition that he is to give me his passwords so that I can keep an eye on him, because although he said he would never cheat again, I didn't quite believe it, as he had promised to be faithful to me at the beginning of our relationship which was clearly an empty promise. When going through his chats I questioned him over one in particular that went on for a while. There wasn't anything sexual but something about it kept me reading. He told me it was his close female friend who he has been close to for two years. From their chats I can see that she has been using him to load her problems onto and talking about things that I would have prefered me and him to talk about ourselves. Since I've known about her I've never been comfortable with the level of intimacy between them,. Although she has never come out and said it I think she fancies him. When confronted she denied it. I tried to communicate my feelings about her to him but turns out that she's tried to make me out to be a horrible person to drive a wedge between us, trying to convince him that we aren't right together by saying things like me and him are LDR at the moment and that she can give him more physical attention. He's changed his passwords, he has convinced her that by having them and trying to communicate that they shouldnt talk to eachother that I am being controlling. I recently found out I'm 3 months pregnant and he is excited about it but is already jealous of the attention I give to our current children which is unjustified because we spend a lot of time together as well and in my honest opinion, too much. He told me he supports my decision no matter what I decide which for some reason hurts. I even tried the 'me or her' thing and he said her because he is closer to her (which hurt me allot) and I said 'why don't you be with her then' and he said 'because I don't think of her like that'

sorry, I mean she has convinced him* (I'm very tired)

Well, the likelihood is you'll be bringing the baby up by yourself, so do you want to be a single mum to just the children you already have, or the children you already gave plus one a baby?

You do not have to have a 'good enough' reason to have an abortion.

You do need to think about motives.

Whatever you choose be at peace with it.

Do you want the baby?

If yes and you can do this alone have it. If no or you can’t dont. None of this other stuff matters on the abortion question.

Separately dump this almighty prat- he will not improve.

It's your body and your life of course it's a good enough reason, you are not happy In Your relationship then you don't have to bring another child into it.

you say "He chose her because he is closer to her ". What did he mean ? He would rather go live with her ?

make sure it's your. Decision

Please lose the twat of a man though

Dump him, he brings nothing to you.

Now what do you want to do about your pregnancy?

Do yourself a favour and get shot of him - he's unfaithful and awful.

Think about whether you want and can manage with another child, not factoring him in to your decision. You need to do what's best for you and the children you have already.

How could any forum advise you on whether or not to have an abortion? How ridiculous.

Separate the 2 issues . Firstly, do you want another child? can you cope with another child? Its your body your decision you do not need an excuse for an abortion , the decision has to come from deep within yourself.
Secondly Your man is being unfaithful emotionally . you deserve better ! you deserve someone who puts you 1st 2nd and third, please don't put up with this shoddy behaviour from him any longer

I even tried the 'me or her' thing and he said her

It’s done. This is on borrowed time.

Decide if you want another baby; separate to what you do about him. If you were doing it alone, what would you do?

There is so much wrong with your relationship I can’t even begin to list it all. Why on earth would you stay with a man that you don’t trust and who clearly doesn’t deserve your trust?! 🙄

Well the relationship is over and sounds ridiculous tbh

So the only question left is do you want a baby? If you don't, have an abortion, it's your decision, not his.

Your relationship is not going to last.

Only you can decide if you want to have a baby that will have his involvement (or not if decides to be an absent father).

I don't think it will last either. I appreciate all of your advice

Op sorry but I am a bit confused.

You said he is "already jealous of the attention I give to our current children which is unjustified because we spend a lot of time together as well"

So the two of you already have children together? But he lives apart from you (nearer to this other woman) and he resents his own children because they take too much of your attention from him?!

If I haven't misunderstood - why on earth would you want another child with this absolute disgrace to fatherhood??

Certainly it sounds like the relationship is over, so make your choice based on going it alone.

You don’t need to have a “good enough reason” to have an abortion, no matter the circumstances. As long as you’re ok with your decision, that’s enough.

Your relationship is over.

Do you really think bringing another child into the world is a good idea.

Don't factor him into your decision.

He's another waster father.

These two things need separating.

First off, he's a monumental twat, get out of there with your kids ASAP.

Then, decide if you want another baby. You don't need a "good enough" reason - your body, your choice. If you don't want it, don't keep it. But if you do, that's fine too. It's up to you - trust yourself to make the right decision for yourself.