Not listening to partners feelings

[Festivalgirl83]

Can I ask, if you explain that you feel upset/sad/unimportant to your partner but he never seems to take this on board and responds by claiming he's right and you have self esteem issues this is not how you should interact in a partnership is it?

it's gaslighting/minimizing your feelings.

No and quite frankly that reaction is abusive

You need to decide if you want to be with someone who makes you feel unimportant. I know I wouldn't.

Of course it's not right. My ex h did this always, if I cried he'd belittle it and tell me I was being stupid and dramatic, even if it was something he'd done that caused the reaction. It always made me feel awful and try to hide my true feelings from him, I didn't really realise how wrong it was until I was with my new partner and one time I was holding back tears and he was so kind and made me feel it was totally ok to cry and show my feelings etc.
I get very sensitive about it now because ex h always tells my emotion 5 year old to stop crying and it upsets me and upsets ds even more.

Oh this is the worst! My ex used to do it and honestly wouldn't wish it upon anyone. He would roll his eyes, say I need help and then completely ignore me. As another poster said, I didn't realise how abusive it was until I would try and hold it all in with current partner. And also if I get upset, I still apologise to him and he always looks so confused as to why I'm apologising for being upset by something.

Are you describing my narcissist ex?

No, it’s all wrong, and you deserve better.