Chronic Insomnia

[Readingandrighting]

Anyone else?

What to do?

I’ve tried everything I can think of: guided meditations, sleep tea, magnesium at night, no caffeine in the evening, breathing techniques.... it’s starting to feel hellish.

Anyone tried anything that worked?

Thanks

You poor thing!
I had chronic insomnia last year and it genuinely made me feel suicidal.
I read afterwards that there is a specific hopelessness feeling associated with insomnia that massively increases suicide risk.
It does ruin your life. The nights can be horrific.
If I didn't have kids I genuinely feel like I would have committed suicide at some point last year! so if you ever do feel that way then please don't play it down to the GP as 'not urgent'.

@Readingandrighting - I would see your GP. They’re not as busy as you think; most do phone consultations and I’ve had to ‘go’ a couple of times during this pandemic.

TBH, it’s the hospitals that are beyond capacity, not the surgeries.

During my last counselling session, I bought up the subject of my insomnia, only to then digress into all the bad associations I have with sleeping. I’m recently out of an abusive marriage, and although I was never physically assaulted in bed, I was verbally assaulted regularly.

That, combined with having a child that wouldn’t sleep from 0-3 many years ago (I was left to cope alone and feel resentful) has added to the ‘mix’ in my head.

Just putting it out there that maybe there are some other associations you have that are creating a barrier to sleep.

A lot of the problem is how it takes over your life. So you are constantly worrying about should I have had that glass of wine, I forgot to meditate now I won't sleep, blah blah blah.

After years of insomnia, fingers crossed the better sleep continues as it's only been a week so far, I realised that rather than bedtime being sleep time, my body /brain thought 7pm was 'rest' time. So, having woken/started the day at 3am, by 7pm I was glad to slump in a chair and watch tv, peruse the internet (not for long as I knew that the bright light can affect your sleep), and to relax. I'd always been an early bird so getting up early wasn't a problem , staying awake in the evening was.

Then I realised that I worry and mull things over at 3am but never at 7/8/9/10pm. So I think my brain/body thinks 7/8pm is 'rest' time, I doze happily in front of the tv, therefore 7 hours later (a good average night's rest), 2-3am is wake up time. I'm wide awake, worrying (often about how shit it is having insomnia).

I now keep on the go into the evening, doing online puzzles, using a SAD light early in the evening to read by, hoovering, housework. Just staying alert and away from the 'I'm exhausted must sit down' mindset. Then relax at 9.30, bed at 10 (or when I'm tired, whenever that is) and I find I am able to get back to sleep after waking between 2 and 3.

I had a DH who can sleep anywhere and for as long as he chooses so there was a lot of lying awake and silent for me, while he slept, which was stressful. I'm retired now so can suit myself, I move to another room and listen to audiobooks, the radio, read. So if I am awake it's as pleasant as it can be.

(I was left to cope alone and feel resentful) has added to the ‘mix’ in my head.

Oh, yes, I had a DH who didn't help with the DCs, certainly not with bedtime or night wakings - the repressed anger didn't hlep with my sleep. Just remembered that.

Sorry to hear you haven't managed to improve things.

Sure, this is not as "urgent" as someone who needs intensive care, but if that was the requirement then no-one would be seeing their GP.
If this is making it hard for you to function on a daily basis, affecting your work, making it dangerous to drive, leaving you depressed then it's urgent.

I get half a pack of Zopiclone (14) 3.75mg every 2-3 months from Doc. Frustrating for me but it can mean you have some for 'emergencies' like making a long car journey. Perhaps you can negotiate with your GP.
I find if I take them every night they stop working so well by the fourth night.

Thanks for all of your advice & responses. I feel depressed & demotivated today after insomnia whereas yesterday I felt on top of the world — just because I slept the night before.

I do have some negative associations with bed - my STBEXH used to scream at me for my tossing & turning in bed & not hearing the alarm in the morning & pretty much anything at all that disturbed his sleep. We ended up in separate beds. It was a relief to stop sharing a bed with him & I could never share a bed with him again which is what prevents me going back to him.

I’ve had on and off sleep issues since I was a teenager. This insomnia is fairly entrenched. I would never go through with killing myself because I’ve seen the devastation it leaves but there are times when I think I could cope with just about anything other than insomnia.

I like the idea of keeping busy & active all evening long. I usually have a couple of hours sitting or lying in front of the telly at night. I’m
Going to stop that.

I’d really love to beat this without medication because 1. I have a highly addictive personality 2. I don’t want to gain weight again. I have Just recently lost a bit and am at a much healthier weight. 3. It’d feel like a great longterm strategy if I could just beat this.

I’m
Going to completely cut out weekend lie-ins & get up at the same time every day. I’m
Going to go for a walk first thing every morning & I’m also on Day 3 alcohol-free. It’s early days but I think I need to ditch the booze. This all sounds great but let’s see how I get on!! I talk a good talk ...

It’s the frustrating , agitating thoughts. I simply don’t know what to do with them. I’m getting almost bored of counselling even though my counsellor is a very good but she seems to think I’ll be in counselling for a very long time. I’m getting sick of all the analysis tbh!

Also I will ring & make another appointment with the GP.

I have tried everything including zopiclone which caused me huge problems with withdrawal. Am now on 100mg of trazadone which works like a dream to be honest, haven't had any side effects and it isn't addictive. It is an old school AD and not usually prescribed for insomnia despite being widely used for it so you may have to convince your GP but it is definitely worth a try.

I go through cycles of insomnia. The last one (Xmas through to two nights ago) nearly broke me. i actually ordered some CBD oil from a licensed producer and it's sitting in my bedside drawer ready to use. But bingo! Two nights ago I magically snapped back and have slept well (for me). Can't say how long it will last. I am now drinking two cups of nighttime Pukka tea through the evening with the bag left in. I wonder if that's helping?
Anyway, next time it happens I'm reaching for the hemp. A friend has spoken highly of it

Thanks. I haven’t heard of trazadone. I’ll look it up.

I use cbd oil from here

hbhm.com

Dudsville, I get Melatolin from Biovea online. I usually get the time release 10mg but since they've discovered melatolin may be effective for covid symptoms they're out of stock so I've been taking the 10mg strawberry chewable ones. Usually I've been waking up with them so I just take one more. It's still less than the 30mg ones I used to get from Holland and Barrett before the UK made it prescription and for the over 60s only.
It's sold on drugstore shelves in the US and many other countries, OP. Maybe yours?

When I couldn't get melatonin I'd use the prescription Zolpidem. I found it more effective than zopiclone but doctors usually only provide it for a month at a time since it's temporarily addictive (ambien).
Also I forgot to say, for melatonin you need the room darkish - no bedside lamps or bright screens. Air attendants use it for jetlag.

I’ll get melatonin & CBD oil. Thanks a lot.

Holland and Barrett have a 'second bottle for a penny' sale on cbd oils at the moment (and cbd extra balm, which is God's gift for back pain).

Chronic insomnia is hell and as you say noone gets how it affects you from day to day.

The nasty part of it is it's vicious nature. The more deprived you are, the more you suffer, the more you suffer, the more you stress about it and want to take control, the more you take control, the more alert you become and the less you sleep.

Amitriptyline was my turning point. Does it make you gain weight? Well it does increase your appetite so yes. It also has some other unpleasant side effects but it is by far the only remedy that really made me sleep. Not systematically, but certainly better than anything else. Because I didn't want to put on weight, I told myself that I would take it only twice a week. This really helped psychologically as it allowed me to believe that at least I would sleep better 2 days and this gradually took some of the pressure from striking to sleep half way properly every night.

I also started to take 10mg slow release melatonin. I also took on meditation and breathing. At first it seemed pointless and didn't really relax me. However, with the meds, I slowly learned to associate the deep breathing with falling asleep. It took what felt like a long time but I can now get myself back to sleep with these breathing exercises.

I've reached the stage when I don't wait desperately for my amitriptyline nights and indeed, only take it about once every other week.

I can't say I sleep fantastically but I sleep enough to spend my whole day feeling so aggrieved and overwhelmed by exhaustion, dreading everything because everything, even the smallest tasks, even the ones I enjoy become chores.

I'm gradually getting better, a bit more each months and I am starting to believe that one day I'll go back to enjoying going to bed and most unimaginable, waking up actually feeling refreshed, a feeling baby take for granted and that I haven't experienced in about 10 years but for a handful of times.

After many, many years of insomnia, I have finally cracked it. For me it was a combination of cbt, reliably practising good sleep hygiene and (self proscribed) melatonin. Diet and exercise also help bit I honestly wasnt able to use these until I'd got things more under control and was better tested.

The melatonin has been a game changer. I still get an occasional bad night but get on average 6 hours now. Feel so much better.

better rested

Thanks a million for your responses and tips

@Porcupineintherough

Did you do the CBT with a therapist, a book or how did you go about it? I’ve read about it and I retrained myself about five years ago but it’s all gone by the wayside now. I’m no expert in it so happy to hear what you think/know.

No, not with a therapist (the waiting list was too long and I was in crisis), I did a self help course with online tutorials. That with encouragement from a v supportive gp was enough to get me on the right track. It started with a period of sleep restriction which seemed counterintuitive but did get me out of a panicking downward spiral - I honestly thought I would be broken forever. Dark days.

@Porcupineintherough

Thanks. I’ll look into online courses. I did the sleep restriction years ago and I remember you couldn’t go to bed until sleepy, so the first night I went to bed at 4am & got one hour sleep. It worked for a while but then friends visited, we stayed up late, lay in & everything was thrown asunder.

Boots do their own version of Nytol, Sleepeaze, (diphenhydramine hydrochloride) which I find as good as the hydroxyzine which my doctors prescribed me.

Thanks. I take Nytol all right but I haven’t tried Sleepeaze