My ex called me a narcissist?

[WingingItAtLife]

Me again 🙄 I'm sorry if I'm boring anyone by posting so much but I need to get it all out...
Had a face to face talk about finances and selling the house today.
We tried to keep everything to finances and nothing personal but it was hard and some personal things were discussed.
Both if us made some low digs at each other, however hard I tried to bite my tongue.
Part way through the conversation he told me that he's had enough of me manipulating Him and I'm a narcissist?!

My understanding is out of both of us, he'd be the narc cz he's the one who always shut down my opinion. He's the one who constantly told me our friends are jealous of our house (cz you know our 4 bed house was the most important thing to him 🙄). He's the one who constantly needed to be told how loved he was and how good at everything he was. And he used to talk down at me and tell me his opinions were 'fact' and he 100% believes that I am the one who ruined the whole relationship and was cheating/lying

Please can someone explain to me narcissist behaviour because I honestly dont think I am a horrible person x

You say he's a narcissist, he says you are.

Truth is neither of you probably are (well not in the literal sense of the word anyway).

You don't get on, that's why you're not together so don't pay it any mind.

@WorraLiberty
Yes you're probably right but tbh it shocked me hearing him say that about me. I didn't even know he knew the word ( not being rude but I genuinely didn't think he'd know what it means).
And it stung quite a bit when I've been trying so hard to be as nice to him as possible x

Don't take it to heart. Break-ups are incredibly stressful and most of us lash out and say things we don't really mean.

It's not a reflection on you. It's more a reflection on the awful situation you're both in.

But things will get better - just not yet

Chances are one of his exs called him it. Always a big mistake to call a narcissist a narcissist. Not only will they reverse it on you, but also now know the word to use against future partners.

@Wanderlusto
He has no exes... Not real ones. Only two previous very short term teenage girlfriends.
I do wonder if his new gf has been telling him what to say

If he thinks you were cheating/lying then he probably picked it up from infidelity forums/articles. There’s a lot of pop psychology out there that states cheating is a sign of narcissistic behaviour.

I think @worraliberty is right. You're both hurt and he's lashing out. Selling your once shared home is a horrible thing to do at a time when things are already pretty horrible. Try to rise above it and focus on what you need to do to draw a line under the relationship.

A good test to find out if a narcissist is a narcissist is to ask them if they are one. If they are, they'll say, 'Hell, yeah! I rock, don't I?'

Certainly and 100% they do not come onto internet forums worrying about whether they are narcissists. So you're off the hook. Narcissists don't have a conscience. That's the definition of why they cause people such problems.

Thank you for your replies.

I agree he's probably lashing out because he didn't want the relationship to end.
I know I shouldn't let him get to me and I should really be glad I'm out of our crappy relationship. I'm the one who pushed for the end because I was sick of being accused of all sorts and him treating me like crap. I just feel hate that he's spreading lies about me and feeling people I ruined the relationship by cheating and have filled his kids away from him. (I know he's telling people this and none if if is true. He's refusing to see the kids because he says it's too painful for him) x