My partner and I have been together for 16 years. We have 3 children under 8. It’s clear we need to separate but we are stuck. We own the house equally but not enough equity for either of us to set up alone. We are both relatively low earners (me part time, him self employed). He has no friends and his parents (separated) live hours away with no spare rooms anyway. He has no friends he can stay with. I feel awful because I know as the mother of young children I will probably get by with my salary plus universal credit top up but he will get nothing. He hasn’t cheated or been abusive he is just an awful selfish man so I can’t leave him with nothing. What do people do in this situation?
If you’re bored and interested in my reasons for wanting to leave him... he pays no money towards the children whatsoever. He pays his half of the bills and nothing else. If I ask for money towards dance lessons/uniform/days out he puts it off for so long that I just pay myself or borrow from my parents - then he’ll come home with a brand new £600 mobile phone! He never joins us on family days out - on the few occasions he does he refuses ‘picnic food’ and makes us all traipse round looking for fast food then when he’s had enough he sulks until we leave to go home. He has full control of the tv in the evenings then often falls asleep before I even have a chance to sit down then complains we don’t have sex. If we don’t have sex for a week he stops talking to me and the children and blames me for it. He never cooks or offers up ideas for family meals then complains the food is boring/bland. He never baths the kids or does anything with them really unless it involves iPad or games console. We haven’t shared a bed for over 4 years - he bought a sofa bed and sleeps downstairs because the children were occasionally getting in our bed overnight.
There is more but I just cant bare it any more. I feel like I am already a single parent but with constant resentment that he is not helping.