Op, and everyone else here, I sympathise and understand and it would be nice if we could be somewhat of a support for each other.
Exh and I separated 2 years ago, court delays because of COVID mean we're unfortunately still married right now (they lost our paperwork) We have 2 young dc's. We only stayed living together for 4 months, it wasn't ideal but the nightmare started after this when he moved out.
We never had a "bad" relationship, when it was good it was great, we got on so well, laughed a lot, had a lot of fun, great trips away, generally a nice life. But underlying was his lying and emotional affairs, he'd minimise my feelings on this and made me feel like it was my fault, any reaction I had that was hurt and pain and upset he thought was ridiculous and literally everything would be turned out onto me. He helped with dc's when they came along but did nothing else to help and support me, in the end I was just so miserable and decided to leave and that's when the s**t hit the fan.
He stalked me, pretended to break into my home and upheld the pretence for ages and I was terrified and he "came to the rescue" at the time because he's all I had to turn to, I didn't know it was him. He'd stand at my bedroom window (ground floor) and listen to conversations, he left dc's alone when he had them to stalk me or go to my home and go through all my things. One time he mentioned that years before he'd put a camera in our home years before to watch me because he didn't trust me, he seemed proud of it. After that I couldn't get that out of my head and kept wondering if he was watching or listening to me now somehow, for months and month I'd search my house, my mum was here searching too, I never found anything until one day I came back from going away for a couple of days with dc's and in bedroom I found on the floor an instruction manual for a hidden camera. I called him and demanded me to tell me where it was otherwise I was going to the police, it turns out he'd had a camera hidden in my bedroom for a year, and he'd gone in to re connect it to the internet I'd changed while I was away.
He still now tries to control everything I do, drives past my house and questions where I am and who with. He tried made my new partners life hell by going into his work and spreading lies about him.
I feel like I'm living in limbo with the divorce delays, the financial stuff isn't sorted out either and he'a lied about money and thought he could get things passed my lawyer. I just want to be free from him!