How to leave relationship

[Cyber27]

I recently posted on AIBU about leaving dp name off of birth certificate. I think we all came to the conclusion that I definitely shouldn't add him and need to leave.

It's nuts that I haven't left already but believe me I have tried several times. I have a 2 bed council apartment and would like to go about kicking soon to be ex out.

Going to my parents house is a possibility but they live about an hour away and we have a very difficult relationship. Mother is a bit of a controlling narcissist but wants the best for me. Ideally I would rather stay in my own home as I find it extremely stressful being around her and can only be around her for short times before an argument erupts between us.

Any suggestions as to how I can go about kicking dp out? He will end up being street homeless which I know I will feel very guilty for but I need to do what's best for ds.

I've just replied on your other thread.

You say your so-called 'D'p has 'joked' that he will pour boiling water on the baby, will throw him out of the window.

I think you should go straight to your HV, report him as a potential danger to the baby and as the abuser your other thread makes clear that he is.

Speak to the police about removing him from your home and tell them too about the threats he's made against your baby.

Leave him off the bc, and definitely DO NOT double barrel the surname. Let him take it to court himself for access.

I will say again what I said on your other thread - someone that can actually visualise, and vocalise such horrible acts happening to their own baby is A DANGER TO THEM. It's so far past normal for a loving parent. He does not love this baby. He clearly is not normal. You have a clear responsibility to report him and keep him bloody far away from your child.

What do I think will happen - he will eventually slope off. His threats make it so clear that he doesn't have normal loving parental feelings towards the baby, and what he wants is easy control and 'recognition' - it's MY kid, MY name on it, I'm the boss. If you make it difficult and expensive for him to gain that, and only through exposing himself to scrutiny in court... he probably won't be interested. If you hand him that control on a plate (and that includes continuing to let him live in your home) he'll happily take it and enjoy making your life hell.

Get him out. Report to SS and police. Protect your child.

If it’s your tenancy and not joint he doesn’t have any rights to it but it’s not as easy as that in terms of actually getting him out.

Ring the council and explain the situation; as your landlord they should be first point of call. It may be that you stay elsewhere in the meantime for your safety, serve him with reasonable notice, and then get locks changed.

Do not leave your home...
Report him to the police today. Ask the council about a sole tenancy.. Today.

Please leave with baby and ID as soon as you possibly can. Say you’re popping to shop etc. go to a friends house and call police or go to police station. Tell them exactly what you shared in the previous thread about all his horrible threats 😞

@YoniAndGuy thank you, I think your comment about how normal fathers wouldn't say those kinds of things has really put it into perspective for me. I will be contacting hv

Dont give up your home.
And certainly dont move back with a narcissistic mother. That'll just drive you mad and possibly back to your shitty ex.

If he threatened your child as pp mentioned, you could literally just call the police and have him removed.

But if it's your name on the lease, you could also just wait till he is out then change the locks.

Alternatively, if you have a spare room or sofa he can sleep on - you could give notice and then if he hasn't left by then, call the police. He cant stay in your home with it your consent.

But I think I'd go the first route tbh, get him out then change the locks. Put his stuff in storage or once he has a place to be, send it to him (or the storage key) recorded delivery.

@Wanderlusto I left a few weeks back and basically gave him a weeks notice. He went to the council and they were possibly gonna be sorting him his own place so I let him stay longer but it seems he's not eligible for the property now.

If you speak to a solicitor who deals with domestic abuse they can get an emergency court order which will get him out of the house and is police enforceable. They will also deal with an injunction (non molestation order) to keep him away from you and then also handle the child contact issues. I went through it in 2019 x

His actions, including the comments, are all serious domestic abuse.

Please report to the police immediately - tell them that he has no right to stay, but is refusing to leave and has threatened your baby.

As pps have said then, police. If be is abusing you then he needs to be reported anyway. I know it's scary but you gave to show his kind you mean buisness and arentvslow to involve the law.

*have to

Police, HV, court order.

Speak to Women's aid too. 0808 2000 247

Good luck OP. Keep posting. And you need to get him out NOW. You and your child are in grave danger.

Don't feel any guilt if he has nowhere to go op... You need to get tough.. His roof or your dc's safety.. No brainer really is it?