Help..partner paying full deposit. How can I legally protect myself

[Eiremogra]

Apologies for this really long post!!! Really hoping for some advice!Buying a property with my partner who is putting in full deposit amount..what legal steps should we put in place to protect both our interests?

My partner and I are planning on getting a mortgage together. He is putting in the full amount of the deposit. I earn a little more than him and together we have been AIP a decent mortgage. My question is what legal steps should we take to protect us both. I know a joint tenancy is best - allowing the property to be left to the other party in the event of a death but I’ve also been reading about a ‘deed of trust’ which would ensure other agreements should we break up. He has said that he would expect to get his full deposit repaid by me should we break up...but..he would not be able to get a mortgage anywhere near our AIP on his own (without my salary) plus if we are together for many years within that time I have paid towards furniture/repairs/daily living costs..surely this should be considered as a major contribution? A friend has advised that the deed of trust should indicate a time limit, i.e if we split within 5 years he gets his full deposit back but after that period of time I do not have to repay him. Even if we do split within the capped time frame surely the amount to be paid back to him by me would be half of his deposit contribution? Really hoping for some solid advice to protect me financially... I have been badly ‘stung’ in the past by an ex partner who left me in a lot of financial debt so need to ensure all measures are taken this time around!!

I agree he didn't say it in a sensitive way OP, but unfortunately this is something that needs to be addressed BEFORE you conceive and sign on the dotted line.

I'm not sure why you think their should be a time cap on him being entitled to his money? Also a baby doesn't change things unfortunately. Neither does adding a woman's touch to make a house a home.

Let me make this clear... it doesn't matter if its 8 years and 3 kids later, the money is still legally his. Until you are married or he chooses to forgo his share of the deposit, then the money is still legally his. If this arrangement doesn't make you feel secure then I suggest you put TTC on hold and re-discuss the terms until it does.

I appreciate the fact that he is paying 100% of the deposit but I also know that my contribution, although not financial, will make our new house a home. I want to put something in place that protects us both.

Ringfence the deposit out of the equity in the property if you split. That is simple and reasonable.

With regard to timeframe and your contribution to "making a house a home", think very carefully about whether this should be a precursor to a more serious conversation about finances and expectations if you take a hit to your career due to childcare, if you want to work PT after having DC but he disagrees, if you should be thinking about getting married instead.

Have all those difficult conversations NOW, not after you have conceived a longed for baby.

Because it sounds as if you are both not on the same page, and whilst he's not being unreasonable at all to bring up protecting his financial contribution, you are not necessarily being unreasonable to question what this means for the future.

Basically - don't get upset about the deposit comment. But explore if why you're upset means you should be worried...

Me and my partner did tenants in common and a deed of trust.

Basically, i put in 15% deposit, he put in 5%. Then the remaining 80% was split in 2, so i own 55% of the property and he owns 45%, so if we splot that is how proceeds will be split.

Better not to ring fence cash value, do percentage instead, otherwise it essentially loses value.

And no there shouldn't be a time limit on protecting his money. Once you are married it doesn't really matter anyway, depending on length of marriage

@NoSquirrels Thankyou x

@Eiremogra - a section 28 claim is a Scottish legal claim you can make if you cohabit together (rather than marriage).

It's based on who has had advantage & disadvantage in a relationship.

So your partner could claim you gave had the advantage of his deposit, if you go part-time after a child & lose income, then you have had disadvantage. So it's about weighing up one against another to work out a capital payment.

A cohabitation agreement would hopefully prevent a section 28 claim.

So whilst your partner is protecting his deposit by this sort of agreement, it does leave you very vulnerable if you go part-time after DC. If you split up & are unable to buy him out, you could be in a tricky position.

A couple of PP mentioned a different way of looking at things eg % of deposit to property cost, or agreement about after marriage/child it becomes 50-50.

You could say to your partner that if he wants to protect his deposit, you have to protect yourself by staying full-time. I wonder what his reaction would be?

PS where are you in Scotland? I may be able to recommend a lawyer

@ProseccoThyme oh that would be very helpful! Im in the central belt - Lothian/Fife area

Can't work out how to PM - if you message me I'll reply

If you're buying a house and ttc, why not get married?

Tenants in common, and a declaration of trust. Solicitor can sort easily. If you have any dependents make wills at the same time!

Thank you all for your advice, I really appreciate your input. I’m going to seek legal advice in the first instance and go from there.

@ProseccoThyme trying to figure out how to message you directly... :)

Click on the three dots at the bottom of Prosecco Thyme posts and click on PM, which is private messaging.

Thank you @HereIAmOnceAgain x

I’ve been in the same position as your partner. I broke up with my ex over it. He refused to sign the agreement that my solicitor drew up stating the deposit I was going to put down would be reimbursed to me in the event we split up and any other money that came back would be split 50/50.

Considering house prices these days, and therefore the deposit you’d need, I’d argue anyone that doesn’t protect their deposit if they’re paying it alone is a bit silly.

That’s your partners money. It’s only right he should want to protect and I think you’re being a bit unreasonable to think otherwise. Making a ‘house a home’ is not reason enough to be entitled to half his deposit. Not unless you play on buying all the furniture yourself and that will equal the deposit amount.

If this is such an issue for you and you can’t understand his view point, you shouldn’t be buying together.

@unbotheredbutbewildered wow that’s very harsh. All the same, thanks for your input :)

He should definitely ringfence his deposit until such a time as you can pay him half.

OP I'm still interested as to why you just don't get married, sorry if you have answered it. But it seems the simplest answer to your issues.

That you are TTC and going through invasive fertility treatment with a man whose main concern seems to be protecting his cash is the bigger issue here. What are you doing to protect yourself whilst providing this man with a child? Has he even mentioned the hit you are taking? Or is it all about his money.

Fertility treatment, pregnancy and babies have a huge impact on the female. It has the potential to damage our careers enormously, even a perfectly healthy baby let alone one with health problems or special needs which is always a risk.

What happens if you split in a couple of years and Brexit and Covid have sunk the property market and you're in negative equity. You have to sell your home in order to give him back his deposit and you walk away with nothing but debt and a baby? Your career & health have taken a hit from pregnancy and mat leave so you don't have the earning power anymore either. In 90% of cases you will still be primary carer and managing day care and work, with some paltry amount of child support that doesn't even cover the childcare.

Please think twice about having a child and buying a house with a man you are not married to. The consequences can be devastating for women, I have seen it so many times.

I appreciate the fact that he is paying 100% of the deposit but I also know that my contribution, although not financial, will make our new house a home. I want to put something in place that protects us both.

When he told you that he won't marry you, why didn't you walk away?

@WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo
I 100% agree with your post.

@WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo Thank you for that...xx

If the deposit was yours everyone would be saying you'd be an idiot not to ringfence it. Your boyfriend would be painted as a grabby, entitled cocklodger!

The best thing you can do if you have a child is to continue working and maintain financial independence. This applies even when married, it isn't the magical "protection from ever needing to work or working part time" people on mumsnet make out.

I appreciate the fact that he is paying 100% of the deposit but I also know that my contribution, although not financial, will make our new house a home. I want to put something in place that protects us both

I’d be telling my adult child to walk away and certainly not sign an agreement to lose half their money because the other person thought that making a home out of a house they hadn’t paid for counted as a contribution. Don’t all adults make a house a home.

Some good advice here. I think it's slightly amusing that he is the one paying the deposit but you are the one worried about protecting yourself

Capital is far more difficult to come by than the ability to raise a mortgage - if you are paying the mortgage equally whilst living there, you should be entitled to an equal split of any accrued equity, after his deposit has been repaid out of the sale proceeds. You should both seek independent legal advice.

I think the more pertinent questions would be - what happens in the event of a split? Would one of you be able to continue living in the property if you weren't able to buy out the other, or would it trigger the need to sell it so that you could divide the funds/proceeds. And what would happen in the event of negative equity? etc etc.

Whilst I absolutely appreciate everyone’s input and advice, there are certain people here who are getting very abrupt and passively aggressive in their tone. I feel the topic has be debated enough at this stage, time to close. Thank you again for all your time x