Does your partner give you compliments?

[Rosemary26]

Hi, lovelies 💐

I’m still trying to come to terms with everything in my toxic relationship, so that I can hopefully truly move on.

He almost never compliments me. I try to dress well, do my makeup, look after myself. And I’m more likely to get compliments from strangers than him, the one person it would have meant the most coming from. It breaks my heart. He’ll openly praise other women in front of me, calling them stunning and gorgeous. My self esteem has crumbled. Considering some toxic behavior from him, I wonder whether he wants me or to feel this way. I used to be confident.

Does your significant other say things to make you feel good about yourself? 💐 I hope so. This hurts so bad. Can you give me examples of what your partner says so that I can see that this isn’t the way every relationship is?

My dh compliments me all the time. He is so secure in himself that he can afford to boost my confidence by complementing me. He isn’t threatened by me and he genuinely loves me. If you love someone you want to make them feel good about themselves. He never comments or leers over other women either (I’m sure he does secretly but he is respectful enough to not make it obvious)
Your dp sounds like he is either a) so insecure that he has to try and make you feel like shit so you don’t wise up and leave him or b) he’s just a vile little excuse for a man.

Have my first LTB!

Awww no OP he's a louse. You deserve so much more. Him slowly and surely picking the seams of your confidence and self-esteem undone is just cruel. Kick him to the kerb and look to meeting someone who will love and value you.
In answer to your OP, yes my husband compliments me, and cherishes me. I know I'm truly loved. I inturn tell him he's the love my life.
He's very poorly in ICU with Covid, and it's the longest we've been apart.
You treasure yourself and go an find your soulmate. Kick the loser well away.
All the best xx

It's called coercive control OP.
He's keeping you downtrodden so you won't have the confidence to LTB.

Partners should want your happiness and have your back. I get loads of compliments and so should you. You're worth it!

Tell him if he doesn't like it to do one. He needs to change his attitude.

Having just seen your thread where you posted a pic of yourself (it got deleted) it's not you it's him, it's not about the compliments but the treatment he's giving you, telling you other women are stunning in front of you is nasty and toxic, his plan is to put you down and make your self esteem so low that you won't leave him. Listen to the compliments that strangers give you and trust your own judgment.

If the man I'm with ever made it obvious he was looking at another woman or said she was stunning in front of me, he would be dumped there and then on the spot and I would be walking swiftly away from him forever, no way would I put up with that.

The love of my life didn't compliment me but he would just beam when I walked into a room and always, always lean forward when I spoke, insist on walking nearest the road , opening doors, meeting me from the tube etc. But then I never heard him compliment anyone.

Yes - he says I am the hottest woman on the planet 😂 I most definitely am not! But we compliment each other often, and when he's away working he'll text me last thing at night and first thing in the morning just to tell me he loves me. you deserve so much more 💐

In the 30 odd years I have known him I can only remember him complimenting my physical appearance once, when I was about 18 and had really gone to town on my outfit. I used to get loads of attention when I was younger and so now I think it was his way of coping with that, by denying me his own recognition.
He has occasionally given me back-handed compliments about my intelligence though.
The more I think about this the more I realise what a twat he is.

I had an ex who, when we were out once, suggested we comment on passing people. Now I hate shit like that, looking down on people, but off he went, going mmmmm look at her, oooh look at her.

Right, thought I. And I pointed out a few nice muscley men and looked them over appreciatively. That was the end of that experiment. I wish I'd just walked away there and then as it was an indicator of his low standards.

My now fiance calls me beautiful. Hello beautiful. And I call him hunky. And the other week when someone was mean to me at work, he said I'm one of life's genuine good people and that was really nice.

OP, he's not good enough. X

Oh OP he sounds awful and you deserve better. He is supposed to be your partner, your biggest cheer leader but he puts you down and makes you feel bad. I hope you manage to leave if that is what you want.
I've been with my DH for 24 years and he always tells me I look good (I don't!) and says lovely things about me in front of our boys.
A recent example was when I went to work and I got a text saying how lovely I looked that day.
Please don't put up with his nonsense

My partner tells me that he's proud of me all the time. He celebrates my successe. He also notices the small things like if I've been trying to lose weight by walking a lot, he'll comment that my legs look toned. He tells me I have a great body. I don't I'm a middle aged woman with a mum tum & cellulite, but as long as he thinks so ☺️
The point is you need to be with someone who bigs you up & makes you feel valued.
Get rid of him before he ruins your self esteem completely. Write a list of things that he says to you, then read them back to yourself a few days later. You will be shocked that you're still with him.

@Joy69 your comment is perfect
Mine never gave me compliments
Ofter. Skitting things about me as a joke he would say
Or I don’t mean it, such as my stomach after having kids or the way i run, or the way i say things
That on top of bo compliments does destroy your self esteem
I didn’t realise at the time and am slowly realising now :(
I am on tablets for anxiety now

Mine tells me that he’s the most beautiful woman that he’s ever seen, that I’m his best friend, how much he loves me etc every single day. Don’t settle for less OP.

I might as well go round with a bag over my head. I look after myself, do my hair and make up (not OTT, just to look ok) every day, keep fit and have quite a nice body. But he doesn't see any of it. I could be a bloke. Or his mum! In the past if we've had a hug for any reason, he pats me on the back. I get compliments from other men, and one in particular thinks I'm beautiful, but nothing from the man I'm supposed to have committed my life to. I feel like I'm just wasting my time. I'd love to just move on, but it's the classic 'breaking up the family' problem..... OP, your partner should adore you. You deserve it x

@Rosemary26

Hi, lovelies 💐

I’m still trying to come to terms with everything in my toxic relationship, so that I can hopefully truly move on.

He almost never compliments me. I try to dress well, do my makeup, look after myself. And I’m more likely to get compliments from strangers than him, the one person it would have meant the most coming from. It breaks my heart. He’ll openly praise other women in front of me, calling them stunning and gorgeous. My self esteem has crumbled. Considering some toxic behavior from him, I wonder whether he wants me or to feel this way. I used to be confident.

Does your significant other say things to make you feel good about yourself? 💐 I hope so. This hurts so bad. Can you give me examples of what your partner says so that I can see that this isn’t the way every relationship is?

Why are you with him?

What does he do that makes you stay with him, in other words, if he makes you feel shit, what are the benefits of being in a relationship with this man?

I get complimented every single day even though I do look shit, don't wear much make up and only dress casually unless going out. I get shown appreciation every single day and I feel so loved. It goes both ways. My partner knows how much I love, respect and appreciate him because I say it and show it. I think everyone needs this as it's soul food.

Why settle for less than you feel you deserve.