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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage on the rocks

4 replies

Sarah102030 · 04/01/2021 13:17

We’ve been together to for 20 years and am now nearly 40.
I feel increasingly like I’m bored of him, I know how awful that sounds but we don’t have interesting conversations, he rarely makes me laugh, there’s little fun. I’m an extrovert he’s an introvert but we did used to have fun together.
I feel like we are two housemates who just moan at each other. He’s quite a misery I think he brings me down. Subsequently I’m on social media a lot because I’m lonely/bored, he says this is our problem but I think it’s a symptom of the problem.
We have small children, it’s not bad enough to really justify breaking up, I wouldn’t be able to do my job, etc. But I feel sad when I see other couples having a lovely time, smiling together, holding hands and feeling connected.
I don’t know if this is a symptom of a difficult year or we’ve grown apart. I feel like I have to plod on feeling disconnected until the kids are a bit older and more independent.

OP posts:
Comfortzone · 04/01/2021 13:21

It's a strange situation at the moment do lots of households

Can you take time apart each day? Go for a long walk, go for a drive and a coffee alone etc

No relationship can survive being in each other's pockets 24/7

Maintain your own space /hobbies

Get a telly upstairs make a reading book away from other family members

Maybe try and plan a dinner together at home one night of the week without kids

Look back on your shared memories together dig out the photos etc

Guarantee it's just Xmas/new year malaise on top of an awful lockdown. Is it worth throwing it all away?

Comfortzone · 04/01/2021 13:21

*reading nook, not reading book

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/01/2021 13:22

are you sure it’s not lockdown related? A crap year, partners crammed in together with no where to go but a supermarket in some instances. When did you start feeling like this?

Sarah102030 · 04/01/2021 13:23

We’ve not been crammed in because we have been working. I feel happier when I’m in my own.

OP posts:
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