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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why dont i feel secure?

4 replies

malificent7 · 04/01/2021 00:56

Dp is a wonderful man...been together for 5 tears...engaged. he has put up with a lot of resistance from dd but never stops being kind, patient and loving.
I dint feel like i'm good enough for him. When I first met him he was on very good terms with his ex..child's mum. That is a good thing but at times it made me feel like i wasnt enough. She had cheated on him and moved on but they were still a bit too entangled as he worked at hers to share childcare...that no longer happens. She is a great woman with a succesful career which I lack.
Anyway.hes divorced, im retraining but finding it tough. Hes a lovely friendly man but there are certain young, attractive women i feel jealous of. Out for a walk and we saw a friend of his...young and beautiful. He said ' she's lovely' then told me a story about how her ex had mistreated her. He. is just rubbish at hiding when he finds girls attactive although i know nothing would happen and im a jealous idiot.
He is lovely with me too so no idea why im like this...

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 04/01/2021 00:59

You are in danger of sabotaging this good relationship, as you know.

It’s great he is open with you. Maybe do a bit of work on yourself to get to the bottom of why you can’t trust him.

EpochTime · 04/01/2021 09:18

Sorry you're feeling a bit insecure, OP. Firstly, we all occasionally find things attractive, whether that be people, animals or things. There's absolutely nothing wrong in him finding other women attractive. You wouldn't be feel insecure about him admiring a flower would you?
Secondly, you sound like a lovely sort of person - very modest. This in itself is a hugely attractive quality.
There are men, you know, who hide their attraction to other women for years and years - making their partner feel as if they are the only woman in the world for them - only for these women to out find years down the line that their man has in fact had a string of affairs. Much better to be with a man who does not hide his admiration of the opposite sex from you.

malificent7 · 04/01/2021 11:30

Fair cimments after all...after all i get happy when Tom Hardy and Cillian Murphy appear on tv.

OP posts:
malificent7 · 04/01/2021 11:30

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