Hi. Myself and hubby have been in a bad place for a couple of years. We've been together 14 years and married 2.5. We have 3 boys (2 together 4 and 9 and my stepson who lives with us,15). I work full time but also have a Friday night shift in the local pub, I always give my stepdad and his mate a lift home( obviously when the pub is open). One night I gave his other mate a lift too, who is around my age and I have also been mates with him for years. Anyway he messaged me to say I looked tidy, I replied with thanks and left it at that. I said that I shouldn't have given him a lift, which i wouldnt have done if id have known he had any intentions what so ever. Fast forward and my hubby had checked my phone seen the message put 2 and 2 together and assumed id been having an affair which I categorically have not. Since then he has accused me of sleeping with several different people. All people that we know, all people that inhave no interest in at all.
Then last year I was bridesmaid at my best friends wedding, as he drank more the day got from bad to worse, culminating in him kicking off at the wedding infront of the kids, and being involved in a fight. He even accused me that day too. I asked him to leave and he did, my mate gave me a lift home and he was in the street kicking off screaming all sorts at me.
He went to his mums and proceeded to phone me and shout abuse at me. He threatened to come home and stab us all! I have this recorded. A few days later he came home and wouldnt leave, I ended up phoning the police but he had gone by the time they got here. 2 weeks after he came in holiday with us even when I told him I didn't want him to. I told him that once we were home he is not to stay there he has to go to his mums. However he has been here ever since.
Since then the accusations have become more frequent he has taken my phone whilst I'm asleep and gone through it with a fine toothcomb stating that he believed me because he hadn't seen anything incriminating on there. But after that 4 weeks ago on the date of my grandads funeral he says that he caught me with a man, he didn't. I was walking the dog, saw a bloke I knew spoke and walked behind him. He is obsessed with the fact that I am cheating, he has told the kids that I've got a new boyfriend and he has shouted in the street that I'm a lesbian-none are true.he has even told my step son that I am kicking him out, which I wouldnt ever do I love him as my own.He is slagging my friends off following reading messages when they are supporting me.
I have lost the will, I can't pretend anymore. I need out. The house is rented in my name, we live next door to my mum. This is my home not just the house but the area, I've been here all my life. He has told me he wont go hes not leaving at all. Then he said he wouldn't go unless I had some.money for him!
For the last 4 weeks I have put the smaller kids to bed in my bed and he has slept in the kids room. I don't want him near me.
I don't know how I am going to get out of the situation and keep it amicable. I don't know what to do