disagree on splitting up

[Ilovethesummertime]

What do you do when you tell him you are done and want to be alone (seperate)
And they don’t accept it and want to talk it through and ‘work on the problems’

Im made to feel like the bad guy

Stick to your guns and start divorce proceedings

Thanks op
Not married but have 2 dc

If he won't listen to words you'll have to jump to actions OP, start separating your life however you can. If neither of you can move out immediately sort out separate sleeping arrangements, stop cooking joint meals, doing joint shopping, laundry etc Get your paperwork sorted, bills transferred over etc and start pushing for whatever needs to happen for one of you to move out. He can only make you feel guilty of you let him, no one has to stay in a relationship they're not happy in

if you let him, bloody autocorrect

Explain that you've made your decision and there is no going back. Direct the conversation towards planning what happens next - who moves out (and when), how time will be split between you both with regards to DC, etc.

Don't be guilted or railroaded into staying a relationship you don't want to be in.

You say "I don't want to work on it. This is making me unhappy and we're splitting up."

He can't force you to stay in a relationship. You don't need his permission to leave.

He can refuse to leave the house (presuming you're both on the tenancy/mortgage) in which case you'll either need legal advice on forcing a sale, or if you're renting you might need to be the one to leave.

You can start claiming benefits, if eligible, while living in the same house as long as you're "officially" separated. So no sex, don't do any housework or life admin for him, separate finances. Stop doing anything you do to make his life easy. He will get pissy about it. Just keep repeating "No I haven't washed your pants/cooked your tea/bought your mum a present, because we have split up."

I'd be firm that it is too late and my decision to end the relationship was not on the table for discussion.

What I was prepared to discuss was the most civilised, fair and practical way to separate.

Presumably you've occasionally expressed your feelings that the relationship isn't utterly dreamy for you in the past? And presumably nothing changed.

He missed his chance.

It only takes one person to end a relationship.

It's not down to him. You just keep moving forward with the practicalities of the split.

From someone who's been there: don't get drawn into endlessdiscussions about why. Focus on 'this is what I've decided, I've explained before, isn't up for discussion. Pointless us discussing it as its not going to make any difference to my decision'. Sounds harsh but you cannot leave even the tiniest chink of hope/weakness, you have to be really really firm!