Single on birthday in a pandemic

Holdmydominos · 2021-01-03T19:57:21+00:00

Bit sad and self pitying - sorry! It’s my birthday this week, I’m alone in tier 4. Seeing a friend at the weekend for a walk and mooch around the open air markets (lucky to have lovely friends) but would appreciate if parents or family could do more. I’m mid 20s and single and just feel very alone. Don’t necessarily want gifts just to feel special once per year - asking too much tho maybe as appreciate it’s a pandemic and there are bigger things to worry about

forrestgreen · 03/01/2021 20:10

Happy birthday, plan lovely things to do at home!

MorbidPodcastFan · 03/01/2021 20:23

Lots of zoos are still open (im tier 4 and we went to one today) - theyre specifically called out as acceptable in government guidelines.
Perhaps try one of those with a friend if it takes your fancy!

joeysapple · 03/01/2021 20:26

Can you get a really luxurious afternoon tea delivered to yourself? Meet a friend for a walk in the morning, afternoon tea with some fizz, and then treat yourself to some online shopping, or whatever floats your boat in the afternoon.

I feel for you, it must be really hard. Happy birthday for this week

AmywithanL · 03/01/2021 20:29

Happy Birthday week! Its mine today, my first as a single mum of 3! And I have loved every minute. My 10 year old got up really early and decorated downstairs and she gifted me a bracelet she had got for her christmas. We went for a walk and just chilled all day. And that was it, and now im chilling out reading a book (and mnetting) tour birthday is what you make of it, if your going to dread it then the day will benoff ti a bad start anyway. Just dont overthink it, I didnt plan my day at all. I just knew I wanted it to be a chilled day

soopedup · 03/01/2021 22:08

Happy birthday x

Original poster

Holdmydominos · 03/01/2021 22:58

@AmywithanL happy happy birthday

Thanks all for the lovely and kind advice, annoyingly working on the day itself (from home) but will plan some zoom calls on the day and a drinks/dinner for when the lockdown lifts

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Eckhart · 03/01/2021 23:05

If you can learn how to make yourself feel special without anyone helping you, it will be the best, long-lasting, life changing, liberating present you could receive, and way better than anything that anybody else could provide you with.

Think of all the things you can do that you love to do. Lie in for ages, long hot bath, read a book, watch a film you love, eat your favourite foods, massive pudding, wear clothes you've bought as a treat, talk to friends, do something creative, listen to your favourite music, learn about something you're fascinated by etc etc.

Anything you can't do on the day, schedule it in for the week and have 'birthday week'.

It's all by you, for you. Single and rocking it. Who needs a relationship to be happy?

Original poster

Holdmydominos · 03/01/2021 23:16

Thanks @Eckhart - great suggestions and excellent advice! I agree with all of your points, I guess my point in saying I was single was more to get across that I don’t have anyone in my bubble to meet on the day. Would normally have a big meal with friends but obviously that’s it too - it is a bit tougher without anyone there at all but I get what you’re saying and absolutely will be good to do luxurious things on my own - albeit I have had the opportunity to do that pretty extensively over the past few months 😂

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partyatthepalace · 03/01/2021 23:16

@Eckhart

If you can learn how to make yourself feel special without anyone helping you, it will be the best, long-lasting, life changing, liberating present you could receive, and way better than anything that anybody else could provide you with.

Think of all the things you can do that you love to do. Lie in for ages, long hot bath, read a book, watch a film you love, eat your favourite foods, massive pudding, wear clothes you've bought as a treat, talk to friends, do something creative, listen to your favourite music, learn about something you're fascinated by etc etc.

Anything you can't do on the day, schedule it in for the week and have 'birthday week'.

It's all by you, for you. Single and rocking it. Who needs a relationship to be happy?

Ace advice here I feel.

Mind you, I would also organise a family and a friends zoom birthday gathering (unless you really hate zoom. They are a lot better than nothing I have found.

Do your parents generally not do much about your birthday? If not, if they are generally nice, are they just crap at celebrations? If that’s the case then going forward I would take the lead and just organise birthday lunches w them etc.

Eckhart · 03/01/2021 23:21

And happy birthday! Don't forget that you are amazing, and that the anniversary of your birth needs celebrating, even if nobody's looking. Have an extra chocolate, for me..!

Original poster

Holdmydominos · 03/01/2021 23:21

@partyatthepalace they normally send some money and a card, which is lovely, and will call. Don’t normally have a lunch as have lived away from home since 18 - but usually go out with friends and have drinks/book a holiday with friends or similar.

I was hoping this year parents would spoil me a bit or send flowers or something qs obviously it’s just me. They have said they will send cash and A card asked if I wanted something specific, I said cash was fine. They are very well off and normally generous (so it’s not a money thing), more a thought thing without sounding like an ungrateful bitch..

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Original poster

Holdmydominos · 03/01/2021 23:22

@Eckhart thank you, you’ve made me shed a happy tear or two 😂 happy birthday to all those in similar situations too, so grateful for MN at times like this

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DenisetheMenace · 03/01/2021 23:36

Yes of course there are so many massively more important things that you/we all should probably be considering right now.

But bless you. Our son is nearly 18. He lives with us and has been nothing short of remarkable this year, forsaking his first really formative year to keep his dad safe. Other than 4 week’s, part-time face to face teaching in September/October he hasn’t seen a soul of his own age since mid-February (we saw it coming). Has barely left the corner fines of our home. He is really struggling now, though.

I can all too easily imagine how very, very difficult this is for you at this so important time in your life. It’s bad enough for our boy but at least he’s not alone. So, yes, people are dying all over the world, bombs are still dropping on Syria and the ice caps are still melting. But you’re 21, you’ve selflessly given up a great deal for other people and you have every right to feel low.

Again, bless you, thank you for what you and so many of you of you’re generation are doing - we don’t read about them in the papers, the millions of young people quietly getting on with it for the benefit of others - and please have faith, this really, really won’t go on forever.

Happy birthday ❤️

AmywithanL · 03/01/2021 23:38

Whatever you do have a fantastic birthday, we wont be in ‘this’ situation forever (I hope) and just think of it as a birthday made as part of history....and double celebrate next year!!

Nikhedonia · 03/01/2021 23:53

I hope you manage to celebrate 'you' on your birthday.

Are there any extra special birthday treats you might like? I've bought myself to a box of treats from a local independent bakery a few times. Delicious and totally indulgent and it felt quite special.

partyatthepalace · 03/01/2021 23:56

You are definitively not being ungrateful - it is such a hard time for everyone especially living alone.

If you can chivvy your parents a bit do - they may simply not have thought about what it’s like to be alone and that they could step up this year. But if not - as PP said, make the day special for you - if it’s flowers for you then get yourself a fantastic bunch ASAP - or get a monthly sub for the year, if you can.

Have a great day.

Veronika13 · 04/01/2021 08:41

It’s my bday this week too. Someone mentioned bakery treats - my god I’m going to exactly that! I’m on kero and never eat fluffy airy pastry treats - Will go to a fresh bakery in the morning and treat myself 😁 happy birthday! Why not just buy a stunning bouquet of flowers for yourself ? :)

Veronika13 · 04/01/2021 08:41

*im on keto

CoolKitkat · 04/01/2021 08:43

You are still so young - it won't always be like this. Have a lovely birthday when it comes

ThisTooShallBe · 04/01/2021 08:58

Happy birthday OP! I really feel for, as a PP said I greatly appreciate the sacrifices our young people are making and my heart breaks for the effect isolation is having in them. My 20s were a hedonistic blast, it’s just so unfair that yours are being stopped dead.

As a birthday treat, give your parents a kick up the arse and tell them you need a lift in your big day. Why not?

NVision · 04/01/2021 09:23

I will be much the same next week, I'll try to see if any friends are up for walks or similar in the days around it and I'm sure my mum will have a gift and card for me to pick up. I'll be working on the day, plan to get a takeaway for myself in the evening and then a nice bath. Treat yourself a bit.

category12 · 04/01/2021 09:44

If they're nice supportive parents normally, tell them it's feeling like it'll be a bit crap and you'd like them to make a bit of a fuss. They might assume you're OK with it otherwise. There's nothing wrong with asking for what you need.

Nikhedonia · 04/01/2021 10:42

@Veronika13

It’s my bday this week too. Someone mentioned bakery treats - my god I’m going to exactly that! I’m on kero and never eat fluffy airy pastry treats - Will go to a fresh bakery in the morning and treat myself 😁 happy birthday! Why not just buy a stunning bouquet of flowers for yourself ? :)

Happy birthday for this week!

I ordered special bakery treats just before Christmas and they were delivered. A box of freshly baked gooey cookies [yum]. All different flavours, Lindt, kinder bueno etc. Make sure you really go for it!