The spark

[PJsAreWorkAttire]

How important would you say the spark is at the very start of a new relationship?

I’ve meet someone who seems a very nice man so far but there is no big spark. I wonder if with a history is dating unsuitable men perhaps the spark has lead me astray previously and a relationship started with mutual respect and common interests could be more successful long term.

Any advice? Or am I wishful thinking

I'd say the spark is thee most important thing otherwise he is just a friend. The spark is what differentiates a boyfriend and a friend.

You have to fancy somebody - want to kiss them, touch them, feel something sexual towards them. Sometimes that can take a few dates to establish - but if it hasn’t emerged by then then it’s unlikely to.

Agree with previous poster, if you have loads in common and enjoy spending time together but don’t feel an attraction then they’re just a friend. Unless he’s also looking for friendship then it isn’t really fair, after a time, to string him along knowing you don’t feel anything beyond that unless he’s also just looking for friendship.

You have to fancy somebody - want to kiss them, touch them, feel something sexual towards them. Sometimes that can take a few dates to establish - but if it hasn’t emerged by then then it’s unlikely to

Yes, this is 100% true. Are you physically attracted to him at all? If after 4-5 dates, and sleeping together there's still nada then it's a lost cause.

However, it takes some self work to change who you spark with if you're only attracted to men who ignore you, bad communicators, disrespectful behaviour etc. But you can't do this in a relationship - you need to do it on your own. Developing better self esteem to the point a man who treats you poorly is very unattractive, and you can see beauty in kindness and mutual respect is the holy grail.

But don't stay with someone you don't fancy because he deserves better than that.

Important