How do I tell DH I want to leave ?

[whatcanmynewusernamebe]

Married for 15 years. 2 DC.

I just cant do it, I'm gutless. I know all hell will break out when I say I want to separate. He will be nasty. How on earth do I start the conversation ? I'm avoiding him atm, waiting for him to say something about it/comment and then maybe the convo will start from there. I don't know. I'm scared of the unknown. Scared of his reaction (not physical), scared it will drive him into depression or even worse. He is all I have ever known for 20 years.

Any hand holding, experience or advise.

I can only hand hold as in exactly the same position, although I actually told him about 3 weeks before Christmas. He got angry then upset and basically refused to leave. Its difficult at the moment as he is working from home and the kids were isolating and will be wfh in January. Neither of us can go anyway while covid is here. I've resigned to waiting until covid is over. He has ignored the conversation although he is being strangely very well behaved at the moment.

My DH is depressed and on anti-depressants but he has been depressed from long before I met him and I'm tired of my MH and that of my kids being pulled down because of him.