For the past 5 years that we have been married, I have spent the majority of the time comparing myself to my DH's ex more so, in terms of looks.
My husband briefly mentioned about her at the very start of our relationship, 7 years ago. He said it was a 1 and a half long relationship, marriage could've happened between them but she was from a different background, so they had lots of culture clashes and he wasn't accepted within her family. She suggested to leave her family behind for him but he refused. He also said that they split up about 2 months before him and I met. And, that's all he ever said about her. His sister let slip her name once & said they (my in-laws) didn't get on well with her, I looked her up and found out that her & DH went to university together. I'm not a jealous person, I've never been but I have this unexplainable feeling towards her, that i dont know how to describe. I've never met her but through digging on her social media profiles, I saw a picture of her wearing an engagement ring 4 months before DH & I started dating, i was very upset because he said he hadn't proposed to anyone before me. I didn't want to confront him because he doesn't know that i know who she is etc. I also found out she got married a few months after us and surprised her husband with a honeymoon to an overseas city where my husband used to live etc, she posts videos singing to DH's favourite songs & cooks dishes he taught her for her husband.
She's a pretty girl with a successful career.
It sounds very daft, but I sometimes look at her pictures & think she's prettier than me & feel like I was a rebound because he got with me a few months after their break up. Although he hasn't suggested this in any way, I feel like he probably loved her more than me because she was willing to sacrifice her family for him and it was only unsolvable cultural circumstances that separated them. Maybe their relationship was better than ours.
These negative thoughts & me checking her social media is affecting my self esteem and I don't know how to stop or what to think. I feel a bit embarrassed talking to my friends about this subject as I may sound weird.