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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you make out on a second date?

52 replies

bellsdumb · 03/01/2021 09:33

Just thinking about things before. I seem to have weirdly set these dating rules in my head. These are my ‘boundaries’.
Date 1: Hug
Date 2: Kiss, make out if I like him
Date 3: Same as date 2
Date 4: Maybe sex is now on the cards

OP posts:
CrazyToast · 03/01/2021 20:27

It really depends on the person and the chemistry and the situation etc.

I used to have rules about making men wait a month for sex but then I decided I couldn't be bothered and would just do what I wanted.

FAQs · 03/01/2021 20:28

I’ve not heard of the expression, make out for at least two decades!

Regularsizedrudy · 03/01/2021 20:28

Make out? Are you 15?!

Babyg1995 · 03/01/2021 20:29

You sound like a 14 year old

LividLovely · 03/01/2021 20:30

No rules.

I’ve had sex with people within 10 mins of meeting. DH I waited until date 5. Do what you want.

Meredithgrey1 · 03/01/2021 20:30

@wishfuldreamer

No rules for me. I don’t really see the point and I’ve little interest in dating people who judge me for sex on a first date.

So yes, if I was attracted to someone I would make out on a first date (and potentially take it further). If that meant they didn’t wish to pursue a relationship I’d consider it a bullet dodged from someone with views that did not align with my own. I’d only regret it if the sex was bad...

This is exactly how I feel!

I slept with DH on the first date, never saw the point in specific rules.

EmmanuelleMakro · 03/01/2021 20:31

It really depends on the person and the chemistry and the situation etc
This!
I slept with STBXH before our first ‘date’...
(We met on a business trip)

No regrets -was perfect.

Mrsmummy90 · 03/01/2021 20:33

It depends on the person and the chemistry.
I'm not into the rules of dating because it's so personal.

I've had sex on the first date but with others waited a month +.
Do your own thing and don't worry so much about it x

missmouse101 · 03/01/2021 20:34

Wtf does make out mean? Shag? Just have some standards and self respect OP and do what feels comfortable.

happymummy12345 · 03/01/2021 20:38

I had sex with my husband within 3 hours of first meeting. Don't see the point of waiting if it's what both people want and are happy to do.
And make out sounds like teenage American slang. Just say kiss like an adult

Livpool · 03/01/2021 20:40

Agree with @Stinkywizzleteets

I never had any rules. Me and DH 'made out' (sorry that makes me cringe) on our first date and had sex on our third.

We have been together 10 years this year

Have your own boundaries but arbitrary rules seem a bit much

Mrsmummy90 · 03/01/2021 20:42

@missmouse101

Wtf does make out mean? Shag? Just have some standards and self respect OP and do what feels comfortable.
Make out means to snog. Different areas call it different things I guess. Make out is a pretty common term here in the north.
Dizzywizz · 03/01/2021 20:44

I thought make out was American for snogging

JurassicParkAha · 03/01/2021 21:09

Sex on first or second date. Wouldn't bother waiting any longer as I enjoy sex, and if I like someone I want to make sure we are sexually compatible. In 16 years of dating in 4 different countries across the world (including a very conservative Asian one), no man has ever judged me and all my relationships have started this way (including my marriage!) - which I see as proof that 'rules' are irrelevant.

If you like someone, and they like you, just go for it and have fun.

Sakurami · 03/01/2021 21:14

I don't have a set rule. I go with what feels right?

ThisTooShallBe · 04/01/2021 00:32

Kiss on first date, sex on second. Them’s my rules for me. Others can do what the fuck they like.

Figgyboa · 04/01/2021 01:51

I've never had rules like this, I've just done what's felt right at the time. I slept with my OH on our first date, no regrets!

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 04/01/2021 02:18

Yup, I’d do whatever I felt like doing on any date. Rules are pointless. Any bloke who thinks less of you because you did something with him on a first or second date is a prick and doesn’t deserve a third date.

Lovelydiscusfish · 04/01/2021 03:14

Made out with current boyfriend on first date, and would have shagged him if we had had anywhere suitable to go and if I hadn’t had to run for my train. It did mean that by the time the second date came we were desperate for each other tho, so it was quite good in that regard (second date lasted a whole weekend).

I have shagged on first dates before and would if the conditions were right.

Yeahnahmum · 04/01/2021 03:59

Rules? For when to do what? No way. I used to just do whatever i felt like doing. Or whatever felt right. ..
Mostly because i am an adult and i can decide for myself 😉

StarlightLady · 04/01/2021 05:29

No criteria. No tick boxes. It’s life for goodness sake. Chemistry driven and passion driven. Sometimes sex on the first date can just feel right.

My own sister met her husband at a mutual friend’s wedding. They were in bed together within hours and have now been married for years.

DeeCeeCherry · 04/01/2021 05:42

I had sex on the 1st date and we got married.
It's up to you what your rules and boundaries are, I'm not sure that what others do is relevant to any part of that. Isn't 'Making Out' an American term for heavy petting?

HeronLanyon · 04/01/2021 05:46

What does make out actually mean ? I think if it as an American phrase seen on films/tv from 60s (onwards)??
I’ve always assumed it progressed with attitudes to sexual behaviour. Ie used to mean kissing and maybe a bit of fondling Grin but I think I assume anyone using it now means sex.
As for sex on a first date - no reason why not if attraction strong unless unsafe due to eg knowing nothing about them/in unsafe situation etc. I’d be far more likely to wait until maybe date 3 or 4 to have sussed things out a bit.

slaydray · 05/01/2021 09:25

@NotYourHolidayDick

Meh, I shagged DH within hours of first laying eyes on him.

Do what you like OP

Same... we're now married and I don't think he thought any less of me 😉
Namechangeme87 · 05/01/2021 09:42

Agree with others iv shagged on first dates and they’ve ended up as long term relationships

If a guy is only after sex then no amount of playing hard to get will suddenly make them want to marry you or something If anything they enjoy the chase .

A decent non sexist man who understands women also enjoy sex and wants a long term relationship will still want one even if you shag straight away

This has been my experience anyway