Apparently DP has tough life because of me

[apparentlytoughlife]

This evening after dinner, DP said he was tired and he had a tough life. I asked why is it so tough, he replied by saying work, family and you. DP works away in Europe, flies back regularly, I look after kids (work full time) and am 38 weeks pregnant. I just looked at him and said delightful and that life is about to get a whole lot tough with a newborn around the corner. Then told him how offensive I found him . He said to calm down and not to get so worried and take things so seriously. There was no shouting at all. I just jumped in the shower and he asked me if I felt okay, I said no, I'm going to bed. Not even why I'm writing this, as he behaves like a self righteous prick. I think I'm beyond caring now hence the no shouting or getting mad. What do you think ?

I see what you mean. It's as though you are one of his problems. Maybe he's clumsily trying to say family life is tough...but it's tough for you too.

It would be easier if you weren't the only one looking after your DC as well as working and being pregnant.

I can imagine you feel unappreciated and like you aren't contributing to household....him being away working makes your life tough, but you're not complaining about it.

Men don’t understand that when they just concentrate on one thing - work, that’s much easier than when we have to work (maybe less -granted) but also sort the kids, house etc. We have the same in our house and it’s made worse by the working from home (me) thing. It’s the juggling that is stressful. Anyone can work long hours if that’s all they have to do. Men will never get this.

Thanks everyone. The fact that he has a job (pilot who loves his job) is a good thing and given the state of things right now he can't just get another job. Yes he is now here for birth and for a while. But I was very worried that I'd go into labour over Xmas etc and he would miss in its entirety due.

I'm just trying to muster up energy for a 'conversation'. Usually I stand my ground but I'm just loosing interest right now and it will upset me if I at least don't hear (he says) what I want to. I imagine he will brush it off like he did last night and act all surprised that I even brought it up

Rupture and repair is the key here. You need to talk about this when you are both a little distanced from the event. I totally understand why you feel hurt to be bundled in a list of things which are his perceived burden. I hope he apologises and you can get back to being supported the way you deserve before the imminent birth of your child.