An affair

[Jojo77777]

Please don't judge me to badly. I had an affair with a guy I work with, he and girlfriend split up in August. We then started seeing each other, he says he classes us as in a relationship, but refuses to tell anyone about us, we can not be friends on any social media and very rarely go out in public together, I have told him my concern, but he doesn't see what the issue is, am I being daft, feel like I need to walk and find someone who is not ashamed to be with me?

It doesn't sound good, OP. This is not the behaviour of someone who wants to be in a relationship with you.

Well plenty of judgement I'll keep to myself but I can never understand why people willingly start a relationship based on deception then wonder why they're being treated like shit later on?! Never will get it.

He treats you this way because that's how it started and a bit on the side is how he saw you. He still sees you that way and you just accept it and complain online.

Only you can fix this. Walk away and expect better for yourself in the future. Find someone available that wants to be with you not start out in circumstances such as these then complain when you don't get the happily ever after you expected.

Remember he had the affair but you went into it knowing too. So I'd be leaving this situation and working on yourself to prevent the same thing happening again. Have more self respect and expect better up front instead of being second best and kept a secret. He probably doesn't want his family and friends putting two and two together and realising he's a bottom feeding cheat.... I know I'd be embarrassed to be found out but I'd also be embarrassed being outed as the affair partner too......

What a mess of his and your doing. No one here can fix it for you.

So you can’t go to this mans house; you can’t be on his social media; you can’t go out very much with him...so basically you’re a secret and why would you be a secret? Because he doesn’t want someone to find out about you.

He’s playing you and using you. He’s wasting your time and is not serious about you. Save yourself the heartache and ditch him. He’s not worth the effort.

OP I have lived in many houseshares in my tkme and literally nevet experienced one where no visitors were allowed. I have never heard of a houseshare where visitors aren't allowed unless, like a PP said, yoi guys actually live in thr 1920s and you have time travelled forward 100 years jist to ask advice on this post? If not, I am 99.9% sure he is lying to you and a) still living with hjs gf or b) desperately trying to get back with his gf

@VodselForDinner

He’s either-

A) Still with his girlfriend
B) In a relationship with someone new and stringing you along
C) Embarrassed to be seen with you but stringing you along until he finds himself another girlfriend.

this 🌺

Whether he wants her back or already has her, the main point is he doesn't properly want you.

When he was with her, was she hidden and not on his SM? No.

She was his girlfriend. You are (v sorry to say) a girl he has sex with who strokes his ego (among presumably other things).

You know this didn't start the right way. Quite apart from why you got into something like that, you know he hurt his girlfriend and lied to her so he could have sex with you.

Now he's demeaning you by refusing to let anyone know you exist.

This is bad all round. You really must peel yourself off him and (I rarely say this) ... dump his ass.