I know I have been ghosted 👻

[chocobaby]

Hi all
I’ve been single for a long time and I met this lovely guy online before Christmas. We chatted for and all was good. We are both divorced with kids. He’s in his 50s and I’m 40. We went out for a nice walk around the excel center and walked to his flat. We were so keen on each other we fixed a date for the next week. That went well and he asked if I could stay the night which I did.
We were meant to meet again on the 26th and had planned to do stuff, eat leftovers etc. I didn’t hear from him until late in the evening saying he had his kids over etc. That was ok. Then the next day he had ‘picked up a bug’ and had d and v etc.
He called me apologizing and saying how he didn’t like that he’d let me down, he had a lot of making up to do etc.
We had a phone call and he said he was going to come to mine. Half an hour after that call he said he was not in a state to drive as he felt dizzy etc. I offered to go to him and he agreed.
I’d planned to leave the next day after a night but at about noon he told me he wasn’t fun to be with as he was so unwell and I shouldn’t take it the wrong way but he’d book me a cab home. I was ok with it and after an hour or so (we watched a movie together) I left.

He called me when I got home and we chatted. He was going to come to mine for lunch and he said he was going to bring some wine. On said day, I get a text on the morning saying he’d left to see his kids for a few hours in Somerset and he would send me an ETA at mine. All seemed well until I got a message at 5pm saying he’d like to go for dinner with his kids so he was going to stay back there ‘for now’. I got a bit suspicious, so I looked on the app and his current location at that time was his home in London
I unmatched him and ignored him for a bit. We also had plans for NY so I text him on NYE to say I was going out on NY. He hasn’t responded and doesn’t appear to have been on watsapp for a couple of days which is strange! He’s normally on it a fair bit. I know he hasn’t blocked me as I can still see his profile photo etc.

So I know the thrill of the chase is over and all that and I invested too much too quickly. I don’t even know the point of this post other than to share and moan a bit. I think I dodged a bullet to be honest. I don’t like being single but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who can’t be relied on.
And the way he does it is to behave like we didn’t have any plans, without any consideration to let me know he was going to go off and do his own thing.

Christ alive, no wonder infections are spreading when the majority on this thread aren’t blinking an eye on mixing households, visiting ill people in tier 4, etc. But yeah, boo hoo because you fucked and he’s not called since.

Why would you go near someone who had d&v and still feeling dizzy in a normal year nevermind one with a pandemic in it.

Why were you shagging someone in a pandemic? Or do the rules not apply if your single

Shocking that he’s a sex and next kind of guy at 52!

Is it? I'm 53 and I'm a 'sex and next' kinda woman.

I'm 53, not dead – although this bloody year has left me well out of practice

Aren't you in Tier 4 OP?

Were you really that desperate for sex that you were prepared to risk your life during a global pandemic in a guy you barely know?

And then when he had d & v you were up for going over while he was probably still infectious?

What’s wrong with your common sense?

Please look after yourself better and don’t shag guys until you know them a bit better and it’s not in the middle of a pandemic.

But ..... I'm sorry that you're going through this. It's hurtful and can knock your confidence. Looking back to when it happened to me, I soul searched (and occasionally still do) for what I did wrong. I knew the answer all along: nothing. As such, it would have been nice for him to let me know that he didn't want to keep in touch: just some sort of closure, I guess. As it is, I don't really know whether he's alive, dead, happy (I hope so), sad or what.

Anyway, it's taken me way longer than it should have done to move on – and I'm still not completely there , if truth be told – but I hurt a little less every day.

Please don't let it take up time in your precious life. Listen to the PPs, the majority of whom have given good advice.

Good luck in 2021

Ok if everyone could stop meeting up with people they don't even know in the middle of a FUCKING PANDEMIC that'd be great 👌

Spent most of the past year alternating between single parenting/being a front line key worker in a pandemic. Haven't broken a single rule because of said pandemic...

But yes, you needed to get laid so do whatever the hell you like. Fgs.