Feeling confused

[RosieJam123]

I left my ex 2 years ago after a 10 yr relationship. We have a 5 yr old DD. The relationship was emotionally abusive and controlling - I was only 18 when we got together.

When we split up I was single for 5 months and then started another relationship which didnt work out so we split up 3 months ago.

When I left my ex of 10 years I felt so much freedom, I grew in confidence, began my PhD and landed the first job to kick start my career.

After a year of my ex not acknowledging me at handovers of our DD he started to change and we begun to spend more time together, first it was DDs birthday, then we took our little girl on days out together, these days out have become more frequent. They have been lovely, it feels so nice to be part of a family unit and DD loves it. But I also love the freedom of coming home shutting the door and having my own house and space now.

It seemed to be him asking us to all go out together (when I was in relationship with new guy this was one thing he really didnt like - one of the reasons I ended things because I realised I preferred to spend time with DD and ex partner which was alarm bells for myself).

However, when I use to see my ex I would be reminded of all the dark times we had, butatley especially over Christmas I've seen a massive change in him, hes kind to me, wants to buy me things when were out, I can talk to him for hours and feel like he actually listens and hes really good fun. And now I actually think hes a really good catch. I want to snap out of thinking like this though!

Normally I am super busy as a single mum, I work really hard on my career. But since having time off over xmas I've had thinking time and I've started to miss him and DD when he picks her up and takes her to his over night.

I'm hoping this will change next week when I go back to work and I am busy again. I didnt have any feelings for him for over 2 years I've not missed him or seen him in that sort of light, so I'm thinking its maybe because I'm on my own I'm just overthinking things. All I keep thinking about is having that family unit back, we both have the same goals and aspirations and I thought the grass would be greener until I actually seen what the dating world had to offer.

I never thought I would be having these thoughts.

Any words of advice or thoughts?

Also to add hes such an amazing dad, I didnt realise it until I have seen how other dads are with their babies. The guy I was dating for a year and a half told me he didnt want kids (something I do one day in the future), and then my ex said the other day he cant wait to do it all over again one day. And this made me feel a bit sad that it would be with someone else

Only you know what is best for you and exactly what happened that made you call it off before. Maybe keep spending time together with your DC as you are at the moment and give you time to work it out in your head?
I will probably be going against the grain but if you think he has changed and can make you happy, maybe take it slow and see how things go. There are so many stories of people separating from partners and getting back with them and it works. I hope whatever you decide you and your little Family are all happy, this year has made everyone realise life is too short to be anything other than happy!x

Oh goodness it sounds like he is on his best behavior which is easy in short bursts and he is telling you what you want to hear?
If you left him 2 years ago it waa for good reason especially with a child. That most have been hard.
You've been so strong to get this far. 💪💪
Honestly I wouldn't go back although it sounds tempting but I think you might be lonely which is understandable in these weird times.

Hopefully we can get back to normal soon and you could be free to try dating again.